Such irony

I looked around the boardroom - lawyers, agents, buyer and seller.

Everyone was shaking each other's hands, congratulating each other on a job well-done, for sealing the deal.

At the end of the day, the lawyers will get their fees, the agents will get their commission, the buyer will get what they paid for, and the seller will get the money.

And me? Huh. Huh huh. Not only did I miss 2 consecutive days' of talks by Ajahn Brahm, I may have just made myself redundant, happening in a few months' time. Bragging rights about being part of the multi-million-dollar deal? Forget it!

我何去何从？



Image credit here.

Post Date: 30 May 09

First work day of the year

If the start of the year is an indication of what the rest of the year will be like, then it's going to be a real busy one.

Checked mail, did some prep work, went for kick-off meeting, debrief over coffee, action items, emergency from customer, waited for contractor, site survey with contractor, reached home around 9.15pm.



Post Date: 6 Jan 10

ECA

Have been wanting to find something else to do to supplement the household income. Recently got approached to do some project management. I've not done it before, but that doesn't mean I'm not keen.

If people are willing to take a risk in engaging me, then I'm prepared to give it a shot.



Post Date: 7 Jan 10

How is it done?

Mahatma Gandhi once said:

“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever”

Dear Gandhiji, I understand the immense wisdom of your words, but I fail miserably in its execution ...



Image credit here.

Post Date: 8 Sep 09

Ideal jobs

Seems like jobs suited to my 八字 need to be in 金 and 水, for eg.

- finance
- automotive
- 五金
- mining / exploration
- seafreight
- shipping
- something to do with ice/coldroom



Post Date: 8 Sep 09

Blind ruminant left to die

*Update* 5pm

Very disturbed, so went to seek divine assistance. The lot said:

"To act is to court disaster"

Yikes! So now better 按兵不动.

*****************************

It's been 3 days, and I still can't figure out my next course of action.

It's tough working against the unknown of unknowns, especially the timeframe. I need to quickly sort out my thoughts and put in an action plan, but ...

STILL NO BLOODY IDEA!



Image credit here.

Post Date: 26 Aug 09

"It's a bad time to look for jobs"

So today is the office's 7th month prayers. Big Boss came. Talked to him about the sale of the business.

As usual, he was non-committal. I told him if it were to materialise, then we need to re-deploy of existing staff. He acknowledged that and hinted that it shouldn't be a problem.

"Then I'll need to talk to you about me," I continued.

"Yah, still got you ..." he let his sentence trail off.

A lot of things flashed before my eyes at that moment - money issues, job ads, standard of living ... and the new addition to the family. I knew instantly I had to plan for my exit. If your employees are just automatons that you either add or remove according to your needs, then it's time they start to think (and fend) for themselves.

That look on his face tells me he doesn't know what to do with me. I don't have the luxury of that same ignorance.

I ended my conversation with him by saying "It's a bad time to be looking for jobs". And I said it twice.



Image credit here.

Post Date: 24 Aug 09

空虚

今天是农历九月十九, 纪念观世音菩萨成道日.

早上到四马路走了一趟. 拜拜之后, 原本还想跟菩萨求支签, 想问问为什么迟迟没有宝宝的音讯. 可惜的是, 今天没有支签服务.

庙里庙外, 人群很多,但视线很模糊. 是睡眠不足, 还是对周围的一切完全没兴趣?

近期还真的有很多东西烦 - 工作, baby, 投资... 看到人家买车买楼, 感到很自卑, 总觉得自己比不上别人, 因为自己做的, 不比别人多, 比别人好. 真的很难受, 也很空虚. 为了这些红尘事而烦, 显得很肤浅, 但毕竟我还是凡夫俗子.

老婆相反的, 对这些不以为然. 或许, 这就是我需要的, 那股平衡的力量吧.

嗨 ...



Image credit here.

Post Date: 17 Oct 08

What a LOVELY day!

This is turning out to be such a WONDERFUL day!

Not only is arse luck rearing its pretty head, this is also the day I found out a friend just sold his condo FOR A PROFIT and has moved into his new condo in the west.

And when did I hear this? Right after worrying if my job will still be there and wondering if I should take the property agent course as a backup, and contemplating selling the car to buy a cheaper one so as to lower the monthly instalments.

I can't breathe now, and need to sit down ...



Post Date: 14 Oct 08

Sianzzzz

Slept an additional hour this morning, but it still didn't help with the 偏头痛. Knew that it wasn't going to be a good day. Even my colleagues asked what was wrong.

Decided that I had enough and left for home at around 4.30pm.

On the way home, I tried to rationalise my sian-ness. I think it's a combination of factors, a perfect storm of emotions:

1. Office Work
Work has been really intense, and I've been kept on my toes. I'm not trained in my current responsibility, and I have no prior experience nor knowledge. Everything has been learnt on the ground. Because of this, I move very cautiously, poring over every detail and (try to) cover every angle. The buck stops with me. One wrong move/decision could send me to jail, incur the company a fine, or worse, send the whole structure down. It's not so much the pressure, but rather, the responsibility that's weighing me down. I need a break from months of scolding contractors, complaining to customers, spot checks and approving drawings/plans. And just before I left for home, another person was prepared to inconvenience us so as to get whatever he wanted. I was too tired to fight back.

2. Volunteer Work
Heard from a friend yesterday that the current case has been put on accelerated path. It's back to the good old days. We haven't been approached yet, but it might just happen. I really don't mind helping, but I always get the feeling our help is taken for granted, that it is 理所当然. Sigh. I may be over-worrying. Maybe the existing group can handle ... ?

3. Kids
Went to see the chinese physician again after another month of red marks. This time around, he diagnosed that the problem may lie with me. Sigh. Why is it so hard to conceive? Other people don't even need to try to get pregnant! And we just came back from dinner with a couple friend who brought along their 18-month-old boy. Guess what was the main conversational topic throughout the dinner?



Photo credit here.

Post Date: 20 Jun 08

Time for a break

These past 6 or so weeks have been quite intense, for both work and personal. I'm happy to report both have crossed the critical stage and now should be the stable, routine season.

In anticipation that we need to reward ourselves for the hard work (hehehe), Wifey and I booked the package at NATAS some 3 months ago. When it was still months ago, we lamented that it's still so far away. And now, we are wishing we had some more time to pack!

Indian Ocean, here we come!



Image credit here.

Post Date: 2 Jun 08

New horizon

I was asked last month to take over the running of the company.

With a key staff having already left us and another leaving end of this month, big boss doesn't really have much of a choice. "But this is not my domain area," I asked him.

"I'm prepared to let you try, if you're willing to," he replied.

Ok, let's give it a shot. Will officially take over on 1 Mar 08. Will have 2 staff. Will have zero experience. Let's see how this pans out.



Post Date: 20 Jun 08

How to celebrate, like that?

Through some heavy divine intervention, my salary has been adjusted. SIGNIFICANTLY. All credit goes to boss, who I believe must have fought very hard. The rest of the company also received adjustments in varying degrees.

While this normally would have called for a serious and extreme case of celebration, it is not to be. Unfortunately, boss didn't get his adjustments. In fact, the big boss appears to want to makan boss, on what's due to him based on deliverables.

I just can't fathom how, when you tell a staff he'll get Y if he delivers X, and he really delivers X, that you can pretend that Y never existed.

Boss now has a few options, some rather extreme, that he can pursue.

Once again, it reinforces my theory that all business people are twisted. How do you people sleep at night, huh? HUH???



Post Date: 20 Aug 07

The 5-7-10 Conversion

The company had a bowling outing today during lunch.

I played erratically, missing sitter in one frame and getting strike in another. Totally inconsistent, but enough to top both games : )

Anyhow, kena-ed 5-7-10 in one frame, and felt it was impossible to spare. After much research on YouTube,



So this is how it's done!



Post Date: 6 July 2007

It's ... in ...

Yes, the money is in. But must wait until the payslip is here before I can verify if the amount is correct.

When I saw the amount, I was taken aback, because it was lesser that what it should be. And then it dawned on me - I miscalculated. I forgot that the amount is CPF-deductible! SHIT!

What that means is, I have 'oversized' my expenditure list. Some things cannot cut. The biggest casualty is my investment fund *sob sob*



Post Date: 9 April 2007

D-Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is D-Day.

All the hardwork, disappointments, apprehensions, responsibilities, together with problems with morale, confidence and self-worth, all will come to fruition tomorrow.

As expected, big boss dragged his feet. Small boss found out and got angry. Later, he told me he's resolved it. God bless him and his family.

The road has been long, and the journey arduous. Whether they've been worth it, tomorrow will tell.

By the way, today is the 15th anniversary of my passing out from OCS!

And poor Janise has been hospitalised! Visited her just now.



Post Date: 4 April 2007

It's a Possibility

Was having lunch with 2 customers from the Red Umbrella when they casually asked if I’d go back if there’s a chance. Well, this is something that I think of once in a while.

“I won’t go back to an AM job, otherwise it’s just a lateral movement – no point. It has to be something more.”

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind going back if the right package and challenge comes along.

The only worry is the politics.



Post Date: 2 April 2007