What A Day ...

It's a bit hard to believe sooooo many things happened today, all unpleasant.

1. A close colleague tendered his resignation today. While he has my blessings, all my technical projects are now in jeopardy.
   
   
2. We lost the tender that we were so confident of winning. My boss wants to appeal. Like duhhh, appeal against a tender loss?
   
   
3. The other tender we are nurturing is dangerously close to being clinically dead. The partner we are working with wants "a better price than what our competitor is getting". Like duhhh, you sure your info choon?
   
   
4. Wifey told me over dinner that her friend has been admitted. She has early-stage TB. I was like "WHAT??!! And how old is she??" Yes, she was a heavy smoker once, but she has cut down lots from last time. And she's still so young. How come some people smoke throughout their fucking life and barely catch a cold?
   
   
5. A good friend whose wedding I'm supposed to attend in 2 weeks' time called. "Just to let you know the wedding is off". "WHY?" I raised my voice for no apparent reason. "I'm not ready to talk about it now." Now WTF is going on here?
   
   
6. While calling another close friend to talk about the called-off wedding, more bad news. Her husband just quitted his job in AU, and is now back in SG. Reason? Stupid fickle-minded boss. Hmm ...
   
   

While all these were happening, I was actually just back from a training course on self-discovery that asked poignant questions, like:

1. Do you have a role model? (No.)
   
   
2. Do you have a personal mission statement? (No.)
   
   
3. What are your personal goals? (Never got that figured out since primary school.)
   
   
4. Do you know that there is no such thing as "no choice"? (Is that right?)
   
   
5. Do you know that the thing / scene /value you think of when you are day-dreaming, is your real inner-thoughts? (Err, ok.)
   
   

The course really made me think of what I don't have (a goal) and what I didn't do (things that will get me to the goal). I will spend the next few weeks thinking of what I want to own / be / at , and how to achieve them.

While I am taking the day's unfoldings in good stride, I think it offers many lessons that will take me a while more to comprehend and digest.

Anyhow, I hope it will be a looooong time more before the Day of Bad News returns.

When Can I?

When can I stop feeling crappy on Sunday because next day got to return to work?

When can I watch My Date with A Vampire III on the sofa, not in front of my notebook?

When can I have 2 full days of the weekend to spend with my family?

When can I find a job whose workscope I really enjoy?

When can I join an organisation or department that I really like?

Exercise

Wifey and I bought a stepper months ago, but it was only this week that we started using it seriously. We. Have. To. Lose. Weight.

We are so serious that I even came up with a chart to track our progress. Basically, we jot down the number of steps we can do in 5 minutes. (5 minutes is the time suggested in the user guide). We also record the the number of calories burnt (readout from the stepper has been averaging 25 calories - it's a good start!) and weight.

I've also been trying to get involved in more sports. We had badminton last weekend, and later a few of my colleagues are going for street soccer.

Healthy living, here I come!

Zoom Zoom

It has been one and a half years since we had our car. This week, 40,000km later, our M3 went in for a major servicing. When I collected it the next day, it didn't feel significantly better, but it was the peace of mind to know that the companion I go to work with every morning has gotten his clean bill of health.

Over the past few months the car has also gotten noisy. Initially we thought it was problems with the axle or chassis, but it turned out to be the tyres. Dad brought the car out yesterday and came back with 4 new tyres.

FWAH!! Such a world of difference!! The road hold was good, control was good, breaking was responsive. Most importantly, it was quiet. Didn't realised I missed the purring of the engine.

Geh Pui Liao

That means TOO FAT ALREADY in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect.

I was sitting on the barber's chair when I realised I had very PRONOUNCED double chin. I mean, I knew I had some spare flesh there, but it really looked gross. I checked the incline of the chair. Maybe the double chin is caused by the chair leaning back, and me having to tilt my head to see into the mirror, I reasoned.

Yah, right.

Wifey and I agree that we haven't been really living healthily. We hardly exercise. I think this lack of exercise may also be a bane to natural child-bearing. We have decided that we need to exercise at least twice a week, with one hour for each session.

Watch this space for the slimmer, healthier duo!

Quotes

For some strange reason, I really like these 2 quotes:

• On the Brink of Greatness
• Flashes of Brilliance

The first one will be a good book title if I ever make it. The operative word: IF.

The second one can be used to describe me: once in a long while, I actually sort out my thoughts.

More Good Years

Both Wifey and I took leave - a badly needed break.

The main reason for the leave is because it is our anniversary. 16 years ago, we decided we loved each other's company and went steady. That was the second best decision I've ever made.

The best decision? Marrying her 11 years after going steady.

We started the day lazily, taking our time to wake up. After a quick wash-up, we went to get the stuff for my evening prayers first, then to the petrol station. Then it was a sweet drive down to Suntec. The Japanese buffet was good! Can go again. The photo (and the half-eaten wrap) may not do it justice, but for the price, the spread was heavenly!

After buying tickets at Marina, we window-shopped between Marina and Suntec. Must say Marina has changed tremendously. Frankly, what's left is the facade. All the insides are different now.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory wasn't too bad. Not too sure how faithful it is to the book though.

It has been one of the slowest day in the last few months, and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. When we both grow old, wouldn't it be nice to stroll down the Esplanade, hand-in-hand, reminiscing about our time together ...

The Gods Have Spoken

Had been wanting to seek guidance from divination lots (求签) for a while now. The work has been so unbearable, but I am under instructions of "This is the job, so stick around."

Had a very strong urge to visit the temple today, so I went down for prayers and also for a second opinion from the lots. It was crowded, and it took me only a while to realise that it was the 15th of the lunar month - a holy day.

One cannot ignore the presence of Divine Presence. I could have felt the urge on any other day, but no, it has to be the 15th. Moreover, it was a Friday. Hmm ...

The first lot was to ask if I should stay, and if this was THE job. The answer was yes, this was the job and that sunlight will soon follow once this rain is over. It didn't help my mood.

The second lot was if I should leave. Surprisingly, the lot answered in the positive - Yes, I can leave! Provided I seek advice from "the man that lives by the mountains".

Yippee!! I felt so much better after this. I even went to buy a Lot Interpretation Book (解签书). Dad was right - it is a load off my mind.

Looking around, I'm so lucky to be surrounded by people who care for me, feel for me and who genuinely want to help, immortals and mortals alike.

Evaporated vs Condensed Milk

For the longest time, I've had problems telling the 2 apart. Which is the sticky one? Which is the one with chocolate flavour? And why condensed? Why evaporated? Chemical process? Wifey has given up trying to help me remember.

Finally, after some research, the truth is out.

Condensed milk is a type of whole milk thickened after 60% of its water contents are removed (through evaporation!). So it becomes concentrated (CONdensed is CONcentrated, geddit?)

Then there's sweetened condensed milk, where sugar is added to the content. There's also unsweetened condensed milk, where no sugar is added but it is heat-treated for sterilisation. People associate it with evaporated milk.

Thus,

Evaporated milk = referring to the process when it got evaporated to get rid of water Condensed milk = sweetened, thik milk

Comprendre?

"They Never Complain"

In today's Recruit section, one of the points of "What Makes People Successful" is that ... they never complain.

2 thoughts:

Nabeh, no wonder! I whine too much!

This was followed quickly by

Choon boh? Mai pian lah!

Lucky I Steam ...?

Because of the stupid tender that I wrote about in an earlier entry, I slept only 3 hours over a 48-hour period. Submission was done by someone else. Left office yesterday at 12.30pm to rest. Had lunch with Wifey, and then konked out for 4 hours. In between, was woken up by SMSes and calls. Fuck off and let me sleep! Even now still sipeh steam ...

In the evening, got SMSes from 2 different sources that the tender results were out, and we were the lowest bidder. Strangely, I didn't know how to react. There was ... dead calm. On the one hand, I was absolutely bitter and upset that I was the only one doing most of the tender. And everytime my boss called for a tender meeting, it was like, to critique my work! Who else can say they only slept 3 hours in 2 days?? CCB! I was determined to tender my resignation once Monday comes. This tender was the final nail in the coffin. I have been pushed too far.

Yet when I heard the news, I was glad that I put in all those efforts. My months of hard work was finally paying off. Don't we all hope to see results from the work we put in? All of a sudden, it seems the other tender we are nurturing doesn't seem so daunting after all, and that everything's possible.

All I want to do now is to gauge my feeling when I go to work on Monday, back to the sickening and mundane, to see if my feeling of achievement prevailed.

By the way, the word in this post's title is of a different context from my previous post.

Joke

Heard this stupid joke years ago ...

An African guy, an American guy and a Chinese guy were the only survivors of a plane crash. They landed on an island full of cannibals, and were soon brought before the chief.

"I will let you off, only if the combined length of your sexual organs (I'm trying not to be rude here) add up to at least 20 inches. All three men nodded quickly, thankful for this slim chance of survival.

All the men went to "prepare" themselves. The African was the first one to step forward. He dropped his pants, and managed 10 inches! There was a loud murmur among the bystanders. The American was next, and he produced his 8 inches of pride. Some of the tribal women gasped. And now it was the Chinese guy's turn. When he dropped his pants, "3 inches!" someone shouted, and everyone roared.

The chief honoured his words, and the 3 survivors ran for dear life. After 20 minutes, they finally stopped to catch their breathes. The African said, "If not for my 10 inches, the both of you would have become stew!" The American said "Hey, I contributed too!"

With a smug look on his face, the Chinese guy said "You too are fortunate. Lucky I steam ..."

At least got a little bit funny lah, yes?

How to Screw Your National Day Holiday

Stay at home, take out the file that you brought from the office, power up your office notebook, connect to the Internet, and continue to do the CCB tender that is closing this Friday at 4pm that your boss wants to review at 2pm tomorrow.

Great to Know I'm Not Alone

Had a great gathering with some uni friends. Has been a while since we last met, and happy to know that all seems to be doing fine in their jobs, well at least on the surface.

We did the usual "So how's work?" down the table. When it was my turn, it was with a little bit of anger and shame that I shared about my new work scope, my laughable package, my punishing work hours and my bosses. For once, I really thought they took pity on me.

"Why don't quit?" one asked.

"2 more months to his anniversary," another offered. Spot-on!

I told them I no longer understand the thrill and excitement of making money for the company, while they give you some microscopic amounts as your reward. My very existence in this world and self-worth evolves around how much money I can make for the company.

"There must be other ways of making money, right," I asked, to nobody in particular.

"I'm so tempted to do permanent temp after I quit. Or maybe I should be a professional bowler."

Attention turned to the classmate that owned the restaurant where we were in. Upon hearing this exchange, he smiled and said softly, "Been there, done that."

He said he began asking all these years ago, and that's why he is so adamant on doing what he wants to do. "I might as well work hard for myself. There is a lot more satisfaction."

It defintely feels good to know that there are people around me that is going through or have gone through this stage. I'm confident I'll survive and emerge a stronger person. Taxi license, anyone?

We then adjourned to Esplanade to catch the could-have-been-better fireworks.

"If I'm In Space ..."

Was reading the papers about the repair jobs they are doing to the Discovery, and was reminded of my (once) keen interest in space and astronomy.

I pestered my parents to buy any children's book on astronomy that I laid my hands on. I read verociously, but remember nothing now due to my porous memory.

I still remember the delight in Pri 2 (or was it Pri 3?) when our Science teacher wanted us to compose a poem on space. We were to submit our work the following day. I ran the lines in my head while walking home. I refined them while having dinner. I firmed up my masterpiece while tossing in bed.

And my proud moment came when I volunteered and stood up to recite:

If I'm in space,
I will explore the place.
Maybe I'll visit the planet Mars
Or other well-known stars.

Nary A Complaint

Decided to have dinner with the guys. Called Wifey to tell her she'll have to settle her own dinner. There was no hint of anger or disappointment in her tone, and it made me a little guilty.

Ever since starting this job 9 months ago, I have been extremely unhappy, busy, depressed and whatever negative verbs you can think of. My one pillar of strength has been my dear Wifey. In her own quiet way, she has swallowed her disappointments, lent a listening ear, supported me, been my voice of reason, and much much more. Once in a while, she lets go a mild remark of "We haven't been to the movies for a while already leh", but it was never meant to pressure.

I have been depriving her of the daily dosage of love and company she deserves. I badly want to make it up to her, but don't know what can be done in the near future, with this job. Even now I'm stealing time from my brought-home office work to blog. Was work ever meant to be LIKE THIS??

Which also got me thinking that maybe I'm not suited for the business world after all. I've always believed that to be successful in business, you need to have flair, interest, luck and killer instincts. Guess how many I have?

Recent news reports that Lance Armstrong has won his unprecedented 7th consecutive Tour de France race really inspired me. It proves:

• even cancer can be overcome
• the strength of the human will (something that I need serious help with)
• there is money to be made in more ways than one

Maybe it's time to look at making money from non-traditional means. A full-time stay-home stock market investor? A lounge singer? Start my tap dance lesson and make some money from there? Or maybe it's time to receive formal training for my bowling?

The KG Man Part II

Never, never underestimate the power of the karang guni man.

The KG man can be suave enough to attract ex-stewardesses, borrow $40,000 from them, and them dump then.

Ok if you are single. Major no no if you are married with kids.

Back to the Drawing Board

Wifey just informed me of our monthly exam result - it was marked in red.

We shall try for one more month the natural way. May the Lord bless us, for failing that, we shall go for IUI.

The Aussie Tea Party

Another group of Aussie friends in SG, and we met in Tampines. Lemon tea at Mackers, teh si at Ah Kun, and then teh tarik at Jalan Kayu.

Now sipeh bloated.

Life's Little Pleasures

Slept late last night, and woke up today feeling crappy. Had tried to leave the office since 5.30, but only succeeded at 7pm.

It was only drizzling when I left, but it eventually became a downpour. Ahh ... the smell of rain. I was enjoying its deep, deep calming effect on me. I was humming to one of my favourite songs on radio. I was even mesmerised by the pitter patter of the rain on the car.

I realised I smiled. I have not felt so at ease, so calm and so contented for a long time already ...