The New Year, like all new years, started with Wifey and I rushing through the last bits of our spring cleaning. This year though, was a bit more meaningful, as we went beyond the usual - we got ourselves new roller blinds (finally!) for the master bedroom, re-did the silicon lining in the master bathroom, fixed the leaky toilet flush, and Wifey tried her hands at baking pineapple tarts for the first time.
So things started well enough.
By the end of the 2nd day, I was damn sian already, and by the end of the 4th day, I was totally gone. CNYs have a tendency to bring out the worst in me. It must have been a combination of some (or even ALL) of the following:
1. In the eyes of mum-in-law, no matter how well I do, how concerned I am about her well-being, how hard I made her laugh, I'm still only the son-in-law. I can't shirk away, cos I made a vow to Dad ...
2. The 2nd day of CNY is always spent on the couch of mum-in-law's place. Wifey will be playing mahjong with her relatives (which she hardly does nowadays), and I will be awkwardly entertaining myself on the couch. TV, book or sleep? It's unimaginable to be idling the time away on the 2nd day of the New Year, but I'm just too polite to pack up and leave. Caught between a rock and a hard place.
3. I wish I am invisible when it comes to crowds. The need to make small talk, the friendly laughs, where do I stand, do I join in the conversations ... ARRRGGHHH!
4. And then there's the baby thing. Younger cousin-in-law is already undergoing IVF treatments. As for us? We haven't even freaking started! And someone actually said to me " After 1, 2 years of trying, if there's still no news, must go for assisted programmes already. Cannot wait." I wanted to shout back "I KNOW!", but was afraid of the return, "So why didn't you?" Sigh. Somebody who already has 3 boys, is going to be a father again. This time to a girl. Time is running out for us. I'm so depressed.
5. And who can forget the frustrations of money. For the longest time, since I started work, I have pegged all my break-out-of-the-rat-race's-vicious-cycle and time-to-buy-a-private-property hopes on my investments. I studied them carefully, trying to understand and acquaint with the different products. Stocks, unit trusts, foreign currencies, insurance, emerging markets, AP ex-J ... I have them all. Despite doing this for the good part of the past 10 years, I am no where near to declaring "Let's use this money for a condo". Hell, the entire portfolio is down 50%, I think! WTF??!! These investments were meant to be the cornerstone of my imminent success!! Ha, what a joke! Where did I go wrong? WHERE DID I GO WRONG? How is it that people can buy one private property after another, whereas I don't even have cash to do proper renovations for my HDB flat??!! Urrrgh!
THIS SINKING FEELING SUX BIG TIME!!!
Photo credit here.
Post Date: 30 Jan 09
