Personal DNA - Considerate Realist

About You

If you want to be different:

Appreciate that your skill set can be useful in many ways; your attention to detail and your familiarity with the inner-workings of things are valuable assets.

Try looking beyond the earthly qualities of things in order to expand your perspective, without losing your grounding in reality.

How You Relate to Others

If you want to be different:

Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!

My personalDNA Report



Post Date: 19 Dec 07

Bye bye, Dan

2 days ago, CNN reported that Dan Fogelberg had passed away.

"Dan Fogelberg, the singer and songwriter whose hits "Leader of the Band" and "Same Old Lang Syne" helped define the soft-rock era, died Sunday at his home in Maine after battling prostate cancer. He was 56."

I have been afraid for many years, fearing that this day might come. But death comes to everyone, and dear old Dan is no exception.

Thank you for the wonderful music and your wonderful voice. Thank you for introducing to me Leader of the Band and Longer, 2 songs that touch my heart whenever I listen to them. Every single time.

Rest in peace, Dan, and do remember to watch over us from Heaven.



Picture credit here.

Post Date: 18 Dec 07

Places we would love to go - Part I

These places are high on the must-go list, hopefully in Apr/May next year.

Austria

The beautiful scenes of The Sound of Music really captivated us.

(Photo credit here)

Switzerland

I cannot get the image of the Swiss Alps with the little cottage from Heidi out of my head.

(Photo credit here)

Scotland

The land of bagpipes, Gaelic, castles and Nessie

(Photo credit here)

France

This would count as a re-visit, cos we didn't explore much the last time around.

(Photo credit here)

Post Date: 22 Oct 2007

Canon 400D

I have finally succumbed to temptation and am now a proud owner of the 400D.

I've pondered for almost a year on whether to get a DSLR, and if yes, which model to get. The Sony Alpha came really close, but the 400D won the day.

What tipped the scale was a well-placed advice, reminding me that I only live once, and since I like to capture memories, why not?

Being the newbie that I am, I have to put everything together, little by little. To start off, I have been loaned an entry level kit lens to use "until you feel like returning me". Another kind soul offered me his 2nd hand bag. Dry box will be phase II. Extra battery, card and tripod only when going for holiday.

The only thing missing now is the out-of-stock lens book, which will take me from lesson 1.

As my boss said aptly, "It's time to reward yourself".



Image from http://www.cameralabs.com/reviews/Canon400D/images/Canon400D_main.jpg

Post Date: 12 Oct 2007

Malaysia's first astronaut

So Malaysia has just had her very first astronaut sent into space. Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, an orthopedic surgeon and part-time model, travelled with Soyuz TMA-11, bound for the ISS.

I feel proud for Malaysia. I'm not bitter, jealous, anything. I'm glad that they have come to this level of achievement, organically or otherwise.

I feel proud that such a close neighbour has sent one of her sons into space. It's almost like I'm living out my dream through him ...



Image from http://diodati.omniscientx.com/2007/10/11/facing-mecca-in-space-an-exercise-in-spherical-geometry/

Post Date: 12 Oct 2007

Just when you ...

... thought it's done, you get a call to say someone went to ask sometwo, and since sometwo wasn't supposed to know and now the secret is out, we have to go back. And start. All. Over. Again.

Production line starts tonight.



Post Date: 12 Oct 2007

What a great way to start the week

Was reading the papers this morning at breakfast when I spotted a familiar face in the Business section.

It was an ex-colleague, someone that I quite regularly bumped into. He has just been made General Manager of a developing country up north.

Here I am, wondering if I'll still have a job in 2 weeks' time, and then I see in the papers a peer who has been promoted.

What I know is, he's no longer a peer after this announcement.



Post Date: 1 Oct 2007

Current predicament

So I have been offered a less-than-attractive package. While I want to sleep over it now, I may have to face it in a few weeks' time. May, because they might not want to hire me after all.

This is the fix I'm in - I can only choose 2:



- If I want money and time, I have to give up commensurate post -> current offer is to give up money AND commensurate post
- If I want money and commensurate post, I must give up time -> logical, but not likely to happen to me
- If I want time and commensurate post, I must give up money -> dunno what's the likelhood of this

Methinks my biggest problem today is the lack of an objective.



Without an over-arching goal to guide my decisions, I'll never know which choice is better, which is worse. Time? Money? High post?

Sigh.



Post Date: 1 Oct 2007

It's done

UPDATE - 29 Sep 07

The update is that the case is closed. All's well that ends well.

*********************************

It's done.

We completed one week of work last night, culminating into a trip to you-know-where.

The results are good, although we still don't know its direct impact. And so we wait.



Post Date: 1 Oct 2007

It's imminent

Just got a call.

The message passed was for Wifey and I to go back and help.

The situation is tricky, with many angles to cover. I can think of 2 possible outcomes:

1. We will be hated to the core
2. We will hate ourselves for being subjected to manipulation



Post Date: 18 Sep 07

How a weekend was screwed

Got a call from New HR on Friday, while I was waiting for the train at City Hall MRT.

They offered a position that is below my expectations, and a package that, on first look isn't too bad, but a base pay that I was already on 3 years ago. Back to 40:60. To add to the pain was the impersonal, deadpan tone of the HR person.

I really wonder when my career and basic pay can finally make their way up consistently. Over the past few jobs, it has been up, down, up, down - how to put a stop to this nonsense? Initially the dream of a $100k annual basic pay dream seemed so much nearer, but now? Huh!

It's not so much that I'm an ingrate - my annual package has been on the up. It's just that at every stage, I get pushed back a few notches, and have to fight my way back to equity and beyond. Most of the time I clear, but sometimes I trip, and pay kena hentak kaki. When will someone finally offer me an increment to jump ship? Something clear cut, simple, not mind-taxing, and where I don't have to feel sour even before joining the company? When? WHEN?! Why is it that everytime, I'm made to feel small? Why? WHY?!

Apologies to Wifey, who once again had to put up with my long face and withdrawn mood. Don't know how long she can take this nonsense.

Here we are, sweating over the annual package on offer, and wondering aloud when will the tides turn, while people just took delivery of their new Mercedes Benz C-class. I'm been told a gazillion times, "Don't compare, don't compare", but I reaaaaally cannot help it.



Post Date: 10 Sep 07

Of herbs and gratitude

Aussie friends are here again!

Brought them to Imperial Herbal at Vivocity. The last time we ate at the restaurant, they were still at Metropole. But the standards remained. The food was good! Our guests enjoyed themselves, which was a great relief for me!

During the dinner, one of the topics was on their son, about how much he has changed after meeting his fiancee. He seems like a different person now, hardly visiting them, spending beyond his means, and a host of other illogical decisions.

So sad. All along, I thought he was the more sensible one of the 2 boys. Given how honest and hardworking-ly they have lived their lives, it's sad that their elder son is slowly pulling the rug from beneath their feet. Oh well ...

They had a few errands to do and I gladly offered to do for/with them. No amount of running around can measure up to the help they rendered us when we were in Australia. They were like our foster parents, and I'll be eternally grateful to them.



Image from http://www.learnenglish.org.uk/magazine/magazine_home_australia.html

Post Date: 6 Sep 07

881

Caught 881 with the folks yesterday.

I've always had my reservations about local productions, but this one turned out alright. A good break from the J-Team overdose.

The show did not invoke as much nostalgia as I thought it would. This may be because during the 7th month celebration of yore, we always had Chinese opera instead of 歌台. Mum said having Chinese opera was more seh been, because they were more expensive. I also didn't like 歌台 much - they were too gaudy and (audibly) loud!

The story was heart-warming enough, with forbidden love, kinship, success, and eventually death. And the leads acted really well. But what, to me, is the real icing on the cake is the "mainstreamisation" of Hokkien. It's about time people openly accept that as part of our culture!

I was also very mesmerised by the haunting song.




Image from http://www.cathay.com.sg/cp_nowshowing.html

Post Date: 3 Sep 2007

Temporary reprieve

Went to Waterloo street today. Badly needed to consult the Powers on the housing dichotomy.

I wanted to 求 for 2 签 - one to ask if we can sell, and one to ask if we can rent.

The first 签 was a 中签. While it was ok in general, it wasn't resoundingly positive.

When I 求 for the second 签, I wasn't able to get a 胜杯! After 4 tries! I think it's fairly obvious that rental is a route that I shouldn't pursue.

Mum suggested, "Why don't you ask if you should just let things stay status quo?" Which I did. For this, I got a resounding 'YES'. I'm to wait till autumn and winter, where things will become clearer.

I'm so happy with this instruction because it is such a difficult situation. I didn't want to rush into this, as it not only does it involve my house, mum-in-law and mum-in-law's house, but also emotions and responsibilities.

So now, we wait, should be until January.



Post Date: 6 Sep 07

Creative Zen Stone Plus

Went to Comex yesterday intending to buy an MP3 player. It needed to be light, handy, and must have a complementary set of accessories. With the choices and myriad of models, I narrowed down to 2: Sandisk or Creative Zen. Was eventually won over by the Zen Stone Plus. $99 for the 2GB model, with a skin with clip thrown in.

Ok, that's one item checked on the to-do list for the Singapore Marathon 10km run!



Image from http://sg.creative.com/products/product.asp?category=213&subcategory=744&product=16757

Post Date: 10 Sep 07

Colorgenics profile

Read about this colorgenics test from FF's blog. Not very choon, but can use for reference ...

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.



Post Date: 29 Aug 07

Damn regret

Damn paiseh and regret also.

Earlier was at IMM Jurong Point and saw this girl. Wah, she really 气质非凡. Was looking at her and she must have detected that someone was looking at her, cos she turned to my direction.

And smiled.

And what did Uncle Waverley do in return? Smile back? Wave? Went up to strike a conversation? Noooo ... being the Singaporean, all I did was stare into space, like a statue in Italy.

It must have embarrassed her, cos her smile quickly disappeared. But she continued looking in my direction.

To the lady in white at Mos Burger, I so badly wanted to smile back, and walk up to you to comment on your 气质, but I just couldn't pluck up enough guts to do so.

If I see you again, I won't make the same mistake again.



Post Date: 29 Aug 07

Financial Independence

Wifey recently got her first credit card, from a foreign bank. I'm so happy for her cos I think it's a mark of financial attainment and independence. The other reason is, if she doesn't use my sub cards, then I can stop paying some of her bills liao - hehehe ...

I've gone so far as to get a sub card FROM her! Woohoo, shopping liao!



Post Date: 28 Aug 07, from IMM Burger King

UPDATE - Aussie dollar vs SG dollar

Wow, it certainly has become really attractive ...



Post Date: 22 Aug 07

Singapore buys an island

Was looking at it sometime back and had wanted to set up shop, but quite expensive. Then my thoughts went to the government, and wondered when they were going to do it - and they finally did.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_150344.html

Govt agency buys island - in cyberspace

21 August 2007

By Tham Yuen-C & Chua Hian Hou

AN IT-SAVVY government agency here owns an island - but one which does not exist in the real world.

Along with at least two other agencies, the Infocomm Development Authority (IDA) has bought real estate to operate in a universe that exists only online.

This virtual world, called Second Life, is visited by more than 8.9 million residents from about 100 real-world countries.

Besides the IDA, the Singapore Tourism Board and Economic Development Board have bought stakes there - not for commercial gain, but to reach their audiences, or to explore operations in a virtual world.

Senior Minister of State for Information, Communications and the Arts Balaji Sadasivan, revealing this yesterday, noted that life in this digital age was making the world increasingly porous, so it was important for people to 'exploit the opportunities opening up' in the cyberworld.

Dr Balaji, who is also the Senior Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, was speaking at the opening of a gathering of 220 lawyers, social scientists, entrepreneurs and technologists from 20 countries.

The State of Play V Conference is a platform for them to discuss the impact of virtual worlds on, for example, real-world laws and regulation.

In Second Life, more than US$1 million (S$1.53 million) in virtual transactions happen daily.

It has attracted companies, organisations and yes, agencies from other real-world governments interested in reaching out to the audience that spends several hours in cyberspace.

Assistant Professor Aaron Delwiche from Trinity University's department of communication, who is also the co-chair of the conference, noted that people were forming impressions of other cultures based on these digital encounters.

He said: 'Today, virtual worlds are viewed as playgrounds, but tomorrow, they will supplement our physical workplaces.'

The three Singapore government agencies yesterday declined to elaborate on their cyberspace forays.

But The Straits Times understands that on the 'island' the IDA bought, the agency is working with students of Nanyang Polytechnic to design software applications that could be used in the virtual world.

For example, they have created a live video conferencing programme for Second Life residents to stream live meetings and conferences.

Speaking at the conference yesterday, Principal Senior State Counsel Charles Lim of the Attorney-General's Chambers said Singapore was in favour of leaving virtual worlds alone, as long as the activities there did not damage the 'fabric of society' by, for instance, using online characters to incite religious hatred.

Another speaker, Temple Law School professor David Post, suggested that governments might want to leave virtual worlds to set their own laws.



Post Date: 22 Aug 07

Aussie dollar vs SG dollar

Is it time to go in?



Post Date: 20 Aug 07

Reading 1 - 0 Everton

Wah lao eh, we conceded a schoolboy goal in the 43rd minute, and Andy Johnson missed a seater towards the end of the match! And now we kena dropped to 4th of the table.

Chin up, lads! Prepare for the next battle against Blackburn!



Post Date: 20 Aug 2007

Off to a good start!

Against Wigan away: 1 - 2
Against Spurs at home: 3 - 1

We are doing mightly fine at the moment - 2 games, 2 wins, and top of the table!

Woohoo!



Image from www.evertonfc.com



Post Date: 20 Aug 07

National Day

National Day used to mean a lot to me. It epitomises and encapsulates all that I am - a Singaporean. Against all odds, not only did we survive, we thrived. It enshrined the blood, sweat and tears our forefathers had poured into this place they came to call home. The can-do spirit excited me, and I wanted to use it as a personal motto.

But in recent years, I've seen and heard so much that frankly, I'm quite sian already. And disillusioned. Applying for NDP tickets used to be a must, but this year, I didn't even bother watching it on TV.



Image from: http://bestanimations.com/Flags/Asia/Singapore-01-june.gif

Post Date: 20 Aug 07

How to celebrate, like that?

Through some heavy divine intervention, my salary has been adjusted. SIGNIFICANTLY. All credit goes to boss, who I believe must have fought very hard. The rest of the company also received adjustments in varying degrees.

While this normally would have called for a serious and extreme case of celebration, it is not to be. Unfortunately, boss didn't get his adjustments. In fact, the big boss appears to want to makan boss, on what's due to him based on deliverables.

I just can't fathom how, when you tell a staff he'll get Y if he delivers X, and he really delivers X, that you can pretend that Y never existed.

Boss now has a few options, some rather extreme, that he can pursue.

Once again, it reinforces my theory that all business people are twisted. How do you people sleep at night, huh? HUH???



Post Date: 20 Aug 07

Land of a thousand smiles

We are all packed and ready to go!

First trip back to Bangkok after 7 years, first time both sets of parents going, first time I'm paying for a trip for everyone, first time auntie travelling with us ... many firsts!



Image from http://www.rolex.com/en/media/images/inside-rolex/sales-service/asia/bangkok.jpg">



Post Date: 31 July 2007

A new chapter

Today marked a new chapter of our volunteering adventure. Actually the new chapter somewhat started yesterday, when Wifey and I went for a look-see look-see. "Prayers start at 9.30am tomorrow," we were told. "Come and join us," they enthused.

We woke up early and had breakfast at the nearby Mc. Reaching 15 minutes earlier, I found a need to visit the toilet. Symbolic isn't it - cleansing the old, starting the new? Haha.

So there we were, 2 newbies, wondering aloud how to go about joining the prayers. By then, everyone was getting into position. We looked around for someone friendly enough to help us with the sutras. As we were heading for the group on the left, a lady helper gestured to me "男的这边", pointing to the group on the right side of the hall. Uh oh, I'm on my own!

People are friendly here. It was also the first time for the guy in front of me, and we helped each other with the pages of the different sutras. The prayers were new, have never recited them before, methinks. There were a lot of 繁体深字, and I struggled. I also couldn't get the tune going - need more sessions!

At 11am, the prayers ended. People were rushing off as it was about to rain. I felt blissful and blessed, what with the spiritual 滋润 and the cool wind on my face. I think I did ok only, but considering this is the first time, I should be happy aleady.

This is a good start, and I am so looking forward to the next session.



The label Hard Work shall now be renamed as The Lord's Work.

Image from http://www.researchmonastery.org/_borders/praying%20hands.jpg

Post Date: 31 July 2007

It's been almost 2 months

Hi Dad,

We've just completed the 49-day rituals this Monday.

It's been almost 2 months since you went on your new journey. How are things at your end? Over here, we're all trying to lead a new life, as was mentioned previously. We now have somewhat new (but quite petty) challenges. We have yet to decide if Mum should continue to stay with us, or for us to move in with her. There are arguments for both sides, so there's hardly a clearly overwhelming choice. I trust that whichever decision we make, you will support us, yes?

The sai gong came over on Friday, to talk about enshrining you together with the ancestors in the tablet. Not exceedingly difficult to carry out, but well worth every effort, I believe.

And Dad, there is something else I want to report. Wifey was on the line with Brother yesterday, to talk about transferring his share of your CPF to Mum. I was shocked for 2 micro seconds before it hit me: this is a breakthrough. They are afterall siblings, and I'm so glad they are on talking terms now : )



Post Date: 23 July 2007

It's a comma, not a full-stop

After 2+ years, after all the 酸甜苦辣, my involvement in the activities has 告了一个段落.

I've indicated to the leaders that after my dad-in-law's incident, it seems that some understandings that I've always held dear are fundamentally wrong. As such, it will be extremely difficult for me to carry on.

Wanting to maintain a link still, I proposed to be the 3rd line of attack. We were asked to participate in last night's activities, as it seems the next one will be long time coming.

We will continue our volunteer work, albeit in a different place with very different callings. More of that later.



Post Date: 23 July 2007

Khao pad lah, prik!

After much hemming and hawing, we finally made up our minds and booked the package liao.

We are going to Bangkok!

Now we just need the agency to confirm the hotel, and also to get our hands on the list of most happening shopping centres.

The title, by the way, means fried rice, chillies, according to this website. The 'lah' is I ownself add in one. Hehe.



Post Date: 23 July 2007

Dilemma

Choice No 1. Rent our place, stay with Mum

Choice No 2. Sell our place, stay with Mum

Choice No 3. Mum stays with us, leaving her house empty

HEADACHE!



Image from here

Post Date: 17 July 2007

Summary - 07.07.07

Many things to pen down for Saturday.

1. Dental
Wifey and I went for our dental appointment today. The last time we went down (according to the appointment card) was Feb 2005 - 2 and a half freaking years ago!! No wonder those stainosaurus were spreading like algae.

2. Star Wars
After many years of inaction, I finally hauled my ass down to China Square Central 2 weeks ago, to gauge the SW response at the weekly flea mart. Spotted a number of items that I have which were on sale. Went down again last week and managed to convince one shop to consign my goods. Cleaned up the items, took photos, created a spreadsheet and brought the first shipment down. The last I heard, 2 items were sold. WOOHOO!

3. Live Earth
Yes, 7.7.07 is an auspicious date, and the fact that it falls on a Saturday helps. Yes, the Earth is ailing, and all of us need to chip in. I'm all for cutting electricity usage and recycling, but somehow, this initiative seems pretentious and showy.



Post Date: 17 July 2007

Xbox 360 repairs will cost Microsoft $1B

Need I say more?
NEED I SAY MORE??!!

Hahahahaha - obigood!


YAHOO! NEWS
By JESSICA MINTZ, AP Business Writer
Fri Jul 6, 10:26 AM ET

In another setback for Microsoft Corp.'s unprofitable entertainment and devices division, the company says it is planning to spend at least $1 billion to repair serious problems with its Xbox 360 video game console.

Microsoft declined to detail the problems that have caused an onslaught of "general hardware failures" in recent months but said Thursday it will extend the warranty on the consoles to three years.

Rest of the story here.



Image from here.

Post Date: 9 July 2007

The 5-7-10 Conversion

The company had a bowling outing today during lunch.

I played erratically, missing sitter in one frame and getting strike in another. Totally inconsistent, but enough to top both games : )

Anyhow, kena-ed 5-7-10 in one frame, and felt it was impossible to spare. After much research on YouTube,



So this is how it's done!



Post Date: 6 July 2007

Our faithful Philips peng liao : (

Our beloved 29" conked out last night.

Today, 2 repairmen and $50 later, no resolution in sight. "Most likely digital card faulty," I was told. "And only Philips can fix, cos they don't sell the card to us."

No signs, no warning, no nothing. Just decided to go blank. Considering its faithful service these past 7 years, I really wanted to have it repaired. But at an indicative $300+, it will make more sense to purchase a new one. So sad.

The timing is damn choon - just when I got the last batch of my comm.

My mind is not made up yet. Let's see how the next few days pan out. And no TV feeling is damn weird - like something is missing!

*UPDATE - 9 Jul 2007*

After much considerations ("why not buy LCD?", "what if are renting the flat?", "why should we buy a new TV for the tenants?", "why don't move Mum's small TV here, and buy a new one there?", "what if potential tenants are dissuaded from renting due to a small TV?", etc), we finally decided on a Panasonic 29" CRT for $460. It is taking delivery tonight. That means our old Philips got to sell to garang guni already - so sad!



Image from http://www.review33.com/review/av/images/philips_29pt9418.jpg

Post Date: 9 July 2007

I never thought of it that way

Ever since I was a kid, I had very little cravings for material things. When the toys I pointed out to yielded the response "That's too expensive; we can't afford", that was the end of it. No wailing, no insisting. That item was officially off my (already very short) list.

Thinking back, I guess I was trying to be a good kid and a good Buddhist.

Recently, when I related this story to someone, she exclaimed "Then you would have no goal to dream of, nothing to work towards ..."

I felt a million watts go through my body. The realisation ... is not too late, I hope.



Post Date: 19 June 2007

Maybe someone to look up to?

The show Britain's Got Talent just ended, and the winner is a Paul Potts.

Paul's an amazing character - regular bloke working as a mobile phone salesman, humble, has a great talent but also with a lack of confidence.

I can so identify with him. Maybe, just maybe, some day, I can be like him?


When Britain first heard of the Welshman, at the qualifiers.



His semi-finals performance, with a short self-intro. Very touching words.


His performance during the finals.


The announcement.



Post Date: 18 June 2007

Divine intervention

It must be the touch of the Lord that, during this business lull period, He arranged for my dad-in-law's passing and my emotional roller-coaster, so that I can have time to grief and to sort my thoughts out.

On another note, I know I'm currently just existing. Learning to moving forward, trying not to move backwards. I know it's wrong, I know it's bad, but ... I can't seem to find the drive nor the direction ...



Post Date: 18 June 2007

Joke of the Day - Real Story

A and B were having lunch at a particular coffeeshop when the drinks stall assistant approached them.

"要喝水吗"?

"给我 Whatever".

A while later, the guy brought a glass of home-made barley. DUHH!



Post Date: 13 June 2007

Back to my old self, somewhat ...

I'm back to being down, sceptical, insecure, worthless, and whatever negativities one can lay their hands on. Will have to add "sorrow" to the list too.

Impending GST increase, NETS sales charge increase, Starhub subscription increase, EDB's lack of transparency over the UNSW fiasco, the Alfian Sa'at incident, Richard Yong giving immigration the slip ... ALL THESE DON'T HELP AT ALL!

My mental state is now FRAGILE. That means, I'm just living day-to-day, and dare not think further than tomorrow. I pray there are no more psychological upheavals, else I might just snap.

As usual, will try to keep myself going.



Post Date: 15 June 2007

One thing I realised is ...

... if you really want to do charity work on a large scale, money is the single most important component.

Really, no money no talk.

I hope this will spur me to rationalise my priorities and re-energise my limp existence.



Post Date: 15 June 2007

Trying to move on

Hi Father,

Mother has stayed with us for about a week now. We have gone and bought some simple furniture for the spare room that Mother is now occupying. Not too sure if you know, but we used to use this room as a store room, so there was a major clearing-out! Thankfully, we managed to find space around the house to "re-locate" the boxes and stuff.

I hope Mother is slowly getting used to staying with us, just as we are slowly getting used to having another person in the house. Mother is also acquainting herself well with the different bus routes.

We all miss you, just that nobody is saying anything. Everytime I go over your place, I look at the chair that you always occupy, memories of us talking about current affairs will come flooding back.

I know time will heal, in that we will eventually come to terms with your absence, but nobody actually said how long it'll take ...

And one final thing: there was a moth that was flying around the prayers area on the morning before we sent you off to Mandai - was that ... you?



Post Date: 15 June 2007

Wishing you eternal peace, Father

Dear Father,

12 days after being admitted, you finally succumbed to pneumonia and passed away peacefully on 30th May 2007.

When we brought you to the clinic the night before your admission, I was confident that this was just a minor ailment that will go away quickly with medication. Thus, I was quite taken aback when Mother called Wifey to say you have been hospitalised. Even then, I was sure you will recover.

For the next 12 days, I visited you twice everyday. I'm not the most filial person around, but I just wanted to make sure I was aware of the situation. In fact, I think I was the one who was most updated on your condition. I even made the doctors called me, which they did. Maybe that's why I' taking it so heavily?

For the 1st week, your progress was slow, but they were positive nonetheless. I was glad the small whiteboard we bought proved useful as a communication tool, since the oxygen mask inconvenienced your speech.

Throughout your stay, I didn't allow the 'what-ifs' to slip into my mind. It was something I never wanted to consider. However, we were reminded about the frailty of life when towards the 2nd week, you developed fever. Your vital signs started to deteriorate. The doctors brought more bad news - your lungs' x-ray showed another dark patch. It seemed like you had another pneumonia attack.

Since that Sunday, you were mostly drowsy and sleeping, a direct response from the stronger anti-biotics. We never gave up hope, and quietly wished you didn't too.

Then came the day - Wednesday.

Your vital signs dropped substantially, to below safe levels. A quick word with the doctor revealed they don't have a Plan B. (I subsequently concluded they never saw the need for a Plan B). I could see that Mother and Wifey were very worried, and beginning to get emotional. I also wanted to show my emotions, but held back because I had to be strong for them. Of all the days, I had to choose that day to help my uncle move house. We rushed to the hospital after a second call was made to Wifey.

Wifey saw you for the very last time. I missed by minutes, because I insisted on dropping my uncle and aunt off at a taxi stand. While parking the car, when I saw the incoming call was from Wifey, I went numb.

"Dear, father 过世了..." in a nasal tone, in between sobs. Till today, I don't know how she managed to muster enough strength to say those words to me.

While walking to the building, it was as if someone sucked all the air out of me, and my chest was really tight. Then, I saw you, lying their peacefully, with the relatives all around you.

Memories of the events of the next days, I think, I will carry to my grave, cos I was able to do something for you, and it made me feel useful, it seemingly brought me closer to you. From choosing the package, doing the prayers, booking the void deck, receiving guests, closing the daily account, burning the incense paper next to you, your cremation, the collection of your ash, and the eventual placement of your final resting place in the columbarian. (You are now neighbours with my ancestors!)

Father, Mother is staying with us now. 大哥 is going to New York for one year, and he said he'll settle Mum's proper lodging when he's back. I also want to report that during this period, I ended the 10-year feud between Wifey and sis-in-law. All 4 of us are on talking terms now.

Father, I haven't exactly been a filial son-in-law, but from today, Mother will be my responsibility now. I will also take good care of Wifey.

Father, while my chest is once again tight and I'm taking in deep breaths while typing all these, I wish you well on your next journey. 我们来世在见.

Yours Faithfully,

Your son-in-law



Image from http://www.calgary-buddhist.ab.ca/images/amida.jpg

Post Date: 13 June 2007

An Escape

Dear Wifey,

I know for the past 2 weeks, you have not been very happy with me. I know that playing computer games until 2, 3am isn't healthy. But I can explain.

You see, when I play computer games, I am in my world. I can right the wrongs. I can even out the odds. I feel needed and wanted. I can contribute. Most importantly of all, I achieve success.

Success. Meant to be such an inspiring word, but so lacking in my real life.

Some people take drugs, others drink. For me, I immerse myself in a game.



Post Date: 15 May 2007

Denial I

1. Why do they think it's their god-given right to regard themselves as superior beings?
2. Why do they think it's their god-given right to treat us as peasants?
3. Why do they talk down to us?
5. How come people can be so self-serving, and still be able to sleep at night?
6. How can they increase their own salary, but go lukewarm when helping the needy?
7. Why is it that everything they say is right, and everything we suggest is wrong?
8. How come the picture they paint is different from what I see in the streets?
9. How long more do we have to live in this elitist hegemony?
10. How did we degenerate into such an elitist state?



Post Date: 15 May 2007

We are in UEFA Cup!

We even managed to hold Chelsea 1-1 away!

So looking forward to next season. Let's hope the board give Moyesy a big-enough kitty.



Post Date: 14 May 2007

Para Para

This is so achingly cheesy that it's good ...



Post Date: 10 May 2007

It's Called Love

Rushed back to change before heading to fetch Mum and Dad for Dad's appointment at the hospital. Sis also came along.

Initially, I was worried that Dad would be worried. This was after all a hospital, and it would a medical procedure, albeit a simple one. He didn't look very comfortable when we talked about the appointment sometime back. But looking how relaxed he was, I was relieved. Think he did all his homework already - talked to the doc, the nurses, read the pamphlet, surfed the Net, etc.

We were there for 3+ hours, but the actual procedure was only half an hour. The rest of the time was taken up by admin stuff, waiting, recuperation, etc.

I found myself eagerly attending to his needs, like carrying his bag, buying food, making sure he's comfortable, talking to him to help him relax, etc. No different from his eagerness to run errands for us, his kids.

It was then that it hit me: this is LOVE. It's time for me to start doing things for you, Dad.



Post Date: 10 May 2007

Image from ccindigo

Coming Back

I'm back.

When the plane landed on Changi's tarmac, reality hit me in the guts and then spat in my face.

If I hadn't be conditioning myself while there, withdrawal symptoms would be having their field day with me too.



Post Date: 7 May 2007

Wahlao and Woohoo

Wahlao eh, this week damn busy! All of a sudden, the workload in the office increased. Somehow or rather, the customers had more queries, visits and requests this week. Besides that, also got many errants to run - change money lah, buy stuff lah, fix handphone lah, season parking matters lah ...GRRR ...

BUT ...!

Woohoo, tonight go airport, tomorrow go holiday liao!! Yippee!



Post Date: 20 April 2007

The Spillover Effect

For lack of a better title ...

So M was in the office today, to do some handing and taking over. Her poise, elegance and the way she carries herself, impresses me no end.

Rumours have it that she is being groomed for bigger things in the company. Not that she's not up to the task. I happen to think she is quite capable. But what got me thinking is, if it had been a more ordinary-looking person, will the grooming be an automatic choice then?

Like it or not, this is a superficial world, where many things are just skin deep. Pretty people will find it easier to open doors, make friends. It's for them to scre up, really.

Not so good looking people, on the other hand, has to swim against the current. Not impossible, but takes effort and determination.



Post Date: 20 April 2007

At Long Last

After all these years, I finally met you.

I get the feeling that, throughout the years, we may have bumped into each other, but each time, you made a quick escape or a sharp u-turn. But nonetheless, you were gracious today, and even waved at me.

If you had been angry and was avoiding me, I know not the reason. But today, I didn't get any of that. We genuinely caught up, updating each other on our whereabouts, our happiness, our sadness. We made the 10 minutes worthwhile.

I exclaimed that you looked not an ounce heavier, and you gleefully said it was due to happiness. I'm glad to hear that.

I am really glad to have met and caught up with you. I'm not sure if the feeling is reciprocal, but it doesn't matter.

Strangely, it's a load off my mind.



Post Date: 20 April 2007

Rejected

Wah, I was eagerly waiting for my Amex-KrisFlyer credit card when I received a letter from them, informing me the application was rejected.

This has never happened before.

Normally, I would be upset, but I accept it as a low of my life.

Sigh.



Post Date: 7 May 2007

987FM FHM Competition

Didn't know about this until Jan mentioned on her blog.

I'm just gonna post this here, and let the readers (yes, I'm referring to the 2 of you, under that rock) to draw their own comments.





Post Date: 13 April 2007

How to do nothing and still get PAID

Damn it! Someone stole my ideas and made them into a video!





Post Date: 12 April 2007

Shop, Shop, Shop - update

Ok, some updates.

While the shopping was fun, not all turned out fine.

- Osim: guess what? The intended recipient choon choon also went to buy an iSqueez!! I scrambled like hell, called them to cancel the order. Unfortunately, the money has already been debited, although they allowed me to change the item. Finally 3 calls and 3 emails later, the order was changed to the uPapa and iCare200. Phew ...

- Nokia N73: instead of trying to solve 1 problem, I got hit with 2. The inability to install the old backup file into the new phone already got me quite cheesed off. I was trying to update the firmware when the thing crashed on me. It just went POOF! and refused to power up. WTFFFFF! Had to bring the phone back to the shop, and for them to t-loan me a used set, while they send it in for repairs. The trip to the Nokia Service Centre didn't help either. "We only do repairs here. Cannot help if it's software." WTFFFFF! Then why is it called a Service Centre and not a Repair Centre?? Went back to the shop to borrow the N70 PC Suite CD and data cable. Finally managed to install the old backup file into the t-loan set. But guess what? There was insufficient memory, and not everything was installed. So now, I have buttons that don't work. Should have taken Wifey's advice, and just make do with the copied-over contact list. And hack the rest!

- TV: already delivered, installed and generating happiness for the new owner already!

- 2 bags: carefully tucked away waiting to be called upon when the occasion arises

So eventful!



Post Date: 10 April 2007

Shop, Shop, Shop

There are a number of people I need to thank for achieving my targets, so I whipped out my allocation list and went shopping over the last few days.

To date, I have "procured":
- a nifty 20" Sharp Aquos LCD TV for Big Boss, for her immense help
- the Osim iSqueez for Big Boss' family
- the Nokia N73, after trading in my N70 (finally, after lusting after it for sooo long!!)
- my happiest purchase: 2 Gucci bags for Wifey. They may have been over my budget, but they were the most overdue

More purchases on their way!



Post Date: 9 April 2007

Sorry Dear ...

I know you wanted to see my allocation list, but at this point, I can't show you yet.

I think you're not angry, but I feel bad.

You will understand in a few months' time.

Sorry again ...



Post Date: 9 April 2007

It's ... in ...

Yes, the money is in. But must wait until the payslip is here before I can verify if the amount is correct.

When I saw the amount, I was taken aback, because it was lesser that what it should be. And then it dawned on me - I miscalculated. I forgot that the amount is CPF-deductible! SHIT!

What that means is, I have 'oversized' my expenditure list. Some things cannot cut. The biggest casualty is my investment fund *sob sob*



Post Date: 9 April 2007

D-Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is D-Day.

All the hardwork, disappointments, apprehensions, responsibilities, together with problems with morale, confidence and self-worth, all will come to fruition tomorrow.

As expected, big boss dragged his feet. Small boss found out and got angry. Later, he told me he's resolved it. God bless him and his family.

The road has been long, and the journey arduous. Whether they've been worth it, tomorrow will tell.

By the way, today is the 15th anniversary of my passing out from OCS!

And poor Janise has been hospitalised! Visited her just now.



Post Date: 4 April 2007

It's a Possibility

Was having lunch with 2 customers from the Red Umbrella when they casually asked if I’d go back if there’s a chance. Well, this is something that I think of once in a while.

“I won’t go back to an AM job, otherwise it’s just a lateral movement – no point. It has to be something more.”

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind going back if the right package and challenge comes along.

The only worry is the politics.



Post Date: 2 April 2007

Alternative Energy

Article on Channel NewsAsia on 26th March.



EDB to pump S$350m to develop Singapore's clean energy industry
By Valarie Tan, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 26 March 2007 2115 hrs

SINGAPORE: Singapore will pump in a total of S$350 million to develop its clean energy industry.

This includes the previous S$170 million announced by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong recently.

The money will be spent to develop clean fuel products and groom manpower over the next five years.

There are also plans to export locally developed products overseas.

The fuel cell car, currently on trial in Singapore, is powered by electricity.

Such prototypes and more are expected under the Fuel Cell Community, set up at Temasek Polytechnic's School of Engineering, which is supported by the Economic Development Board (EDB).

Its focus is to help local companies and technopreneurs get started on developing fuel cell products.

Companies can even test-drive their prototypes at the poly's S$5.5 million fuel cell application centre, which will be completed in November this year.

Cham Yew Thean, Head, Temasek Engineering School, said: "We'll be initiating projects with members and partners in the hope of developing fuel cell commercial products for the market. These fuel cell products will develop an industry. Once we commercialise the products, then we're able to generate an industry manufacturing plant to produce these systems."

The Fuel Cell Community currently has about 17 members, including Bishan-Toa Payoh Town Council, which can partner companies to test their products at housing estates.

All these come under Singapore's Clean Energy Industry Blueprint.

Headed by a newly formed Clean Energy Programme Office, the blueprint sets out to fund projects, build world-class research centres and groom manpower to power up the industry in Singapore.

Lim Siong Guan, Chairman, EDB, said: "EDB wants to do the same for the broader clean energy industry, not just fuel cells. We want to position Singapore as a global clean energy hub where clean energy companies can come to incubate, develop and produce solutions not only for Singapore, but to export to the world."

EDB said another reason why Singapore is going big on the clean energy industry is because of the growing market due to rising prices of fuel.

Nearly one billion people live without electricity in South Asia and Southeast Asia, and companies in Singapore can bring their clean energy products into these markets.

The clean energy industry is expected to boost Singapore's economy by about S$1.7 billion and create 7,000 jobs by 2015.



I need to find some way to wriggle into this field. I strongly believe, not only is there money to be made, it's going to change the world.

And I just learnt that my big boss is interested in renewable fuels too.



Post Date: 28 Mar 2007

Acceptance

My colleagues left for lunch without me. They went in 2 groups. Nobody called me; each assumed that I had left with the other group.

When I was younger, I used to get really upset over such incidents. It means nobody bothered if I’m there or not, that I’m not one of the “in group”. I remember once, at my grandma’s place, the cousins locked themselves in one of the bedrooms because there was this one pesky little cousin that kept irritating them. Unfortunately, I was locked out as well. My ego took a major hit. It was a while later that the bedroom door opened (can’t remember if I had knocked), and my eldest cousin exclaimed “What are you doing outside? Get inside!” and holding me by my arm, yanked me into the room.

There was this other incident in college. My girlfriend’s (now wife) good friend, for no rhyme or reason, decided one fine day that she will stop talking to me. I probed and I asked, but no response. I asked Wifey, she also got no clue. Wah, I really lost sleep because of it. (It was only years later, like recently, that she decided the war is over).

Not that I want to be Mr Popular, but I craved acceptance, acceptance into the group, into society. Yes, I may have been over-sensitive, but the lack of self-confidence was a greater devil.

Now, I’m still sensitive, but I don’t such things bug me. Actually, the truth is: I can’t be bothered anymore.

And my colleagues are back.



Post Date: 26 March 2007

War and Beauty (Final Episode)

Fwah, finished watching the entire VCD series with Wifey just.

Straight away got withdrawal symptons already.

I'm going to do some reading-up on the show, stars, comments, whatever.



Post Date: 26 Mar 2007

NATAS 2007

Woohoo, we are going to China!

Booked at NATAS today, at CTC. It will be 4 of us.

Very excited about going to the Forbidden City, and would be nice to cover more of Shanghai this time around.

Woohoo!



Post Date: 26 Mar 2007

War and Beauty (金枝慾孽)

Started watching from the middle of this show when it was on TV, and am watching the complete series on VCD now with Wifey.

This show really got under my skin. The storyline is captivating, and the characters believable, beautiful on-location filming and an impressive cast. 2 Saturdays (and a few hours last night) later, it got me interested in almost all aspects of the show, that I:

- read the 1st resource available, Wikipedia
- have been visiting forums that discuss this show
- read a number of Qing related articles
- bookmarked 2 unofficial blogs of Charmaine - in English and Chinese
- went on Youtube to view interviews, reviews and bloopers

It's not often that I get so drawn in, so I was thinking through the reasons, and I think they are:

- I've always preferred period dramas (神雕侠侣, anyone?)
- 人心险恶 shows make for a more interesting story (大长今, anyone?)
- it is based on history (although most of the characters are fictitious)
- it is backdropped against the place that we will be visiting soon (Yippee!)
- and finally, well ... it helps that *ahem*charmaine*koffkoff*isinit*koff*ahem*





Post Date: 20 Mar 2007

Dunno why

Was driving to work this morning when I got all pensive and serious and deep-thinking.

"Is there a need to rush?"
"Nothing wrong with giving way, right?"
"Is there a need to get angry with the traffic, something which you can't control?"
"Don't you want to decide to make today a great day?"

These questions popped up in my head unsolicited, and strangely, the drive was really smooth.

I then read Trisha's piece on the 1-roomers and Ting's article on being both scared and tired of meeting people.

Trisha's 1-roomers taught me that I really should be contented with what I have, rather than dwell on what I don't. For the life of me, this is one of the hardest and darndest thing to achieve. I was going to give the excuse that I was constructed this way, but no. I'll ... give it a try.

Ting mentioned that she wants these people to stay away. I'm glad that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Now I remember why I was feeling like that this morning. I was recalling something my boss said to me last week, that I was only displaying less than 50% of what I'm capable of. Not that he was blaming me for non-performance, but rather, wondering why I'm holding back. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad.

I so badly want to sit by the beach right now.



Post Date: 5 Feb 2007