Why got this dream?

Had a weird dream last night / this morning. Of all the things I could have dreamt of, I had to dream of people of the god-forsaken company, no less 2 of the Top Management.

I was talking to the 2 of them along a corridor and it was pouring outside. They were supposed to be going somewhere for an appointment. Somehow or rather, I don’t know why I did it, but I offered to drive them there. They were supposed to wait for me at the carpark.

The next few bits were quite blur, and I can’t recall what happened. But I think I took a long time, cos when I reached the car, they were already there, and I was feeling apologetic. One of them even said “We even had time to change!” (My goodness, into ugly Hawaiian shirts??!!)

And about the car. It … wasn’t my car. But somehow, we all gathered around it. When I put my car key in, I was able to open the door, and start the car! Problem is, it was a manual car. I’m not very proficient with manual cars, due to the lack of practice. Anyhow, the Top Guy proceeded to tell me the destination, and also driving instructions. In the dream, I was able to feel the anxiety of not knowing any of those places / roads that he was saying … and then I woke up.

TMD. I left the company so many months ago, and not once did I dream about the fucking place or the people. Must be yesterday lah, after catching up with my ex-colleagues and talking about all these fuckers.



Post Date: 29 Dec 2006

Wham - Last Christmas

I like this song enough to listen to it 50 million times, and not get bored. It epitomises the spirit of Christmas, and the feel-goodness that comes with it ...





Post Date: 21 December 2006

Hougang Case VIII

Wed night / Thu: 4am, but went to bed at 6am.

The. Case. Is. Finally. Over.

I. Am. So. Farking. Tired.

I have also heard disturbing news, once again demonstrating the fallibility of men. Sigh.



Post Date: 30 Nov 2006

Hougang Case VII

Tue night / Wed: 2.30am

Thank goodness the job is finally done. Summary tomorrow.



Post Date: 29 Nov 2006

Hougang Case VI

Mon night / Tue: 1.30am

Just got back.

I've just realised the differences:

Helper / 死党
- someone that helps you with your work
- someone you clown around with
- someone that you show extraordinary patience and forgiveness towards

Helper / 亲信
- someone that helps you with your work
- someone you confide with
- someone that you have a soft spot for

Helper / Senior
- someone that helps you with your work
- someone more senior than you
- someone that you discuss the obligatory issues with

Lord Buddha, are all these part of your divine plans for me?
(Update: I checked, and the response is ... yes.)



Post Date: 28 Nov 2006

Hougang Case V

Thu night / Fri: 1.30am

Fri night / Sat: 7am

Sat night: 11.45pm

Sun night / Mon: 1.30am



Post Date: 27 Nov 2006

See, the superficiality of society!

I so believed in it that I even wrote a GP essay on it!



Post Date: 27 Nov 2006

AMW

I abhor:

• not being able to control my own time
• being pushed beyond my limits
• being torn between personal life and "greater good"
• being held ransom (when it happens)

I miss:

• chilling out at home with Wifey, at our own leisure
• spending quality time with my family, without having to watch the clock
• going to bed at the time I want

I wish:

• to have my time back
• I can go to work everyday morning feeling FRESH
• my boss will not detect the drop in my productivity and efficiency
• I don't have to lie anymore

Post Date: 23 Nov 2006

Hougang Case IV

Wed night / Thu: 1.45am



Post Date: 23 Nov 2006

Hougang Case III

Sun night / Mon: 12.45am, but to AMK first

Mon night / Tue: 1.30am

Tue night / Wed: 1.45am



Post Date: 22 Nov 2006

Hougang Case II

Sengkang → AMK → Jurong
Jurong → Yishun → Hougang → Jurong
Jurong → Lornie → Jurong
Jurong → Hougang → Jurong



Post Date: 22 Nov 2006

Mystery of the missing catalogues

When we went over to Mum's 2 nights ago, and saw the very inviting red-coloured, Christmas-themed Ikea catalogue, that was it.

"I'm going to call Ikea and Sony tomorrow to complain", I told Wifey.

Where is my bloody Sony catalogue? I can't even remember the last time I got one, but I keep seeing them pop up at Mum's. And where is my Ikea Christmas catalogue? I mean, I've been holding my breath, waiting for the Tampines store to open - how can they do this to me??

The call to Sony yielded some answers - the catalogue is not distributed island-wide. While the girl told me it's the management's decision where to send them to, methinks it's based on some profiling, and my area falls out of the crack. She was nice enough to offer to send me a copy, but I would still have to call her to demand a copy everytime I don't get it. TMD.

The call to Ikea was an angrier one. Although I remembered later that I have been receiving their catalogues (just later than Mum), the total inability of the customer service person to give me a straight answer put me very off. After saying she'll check with Singpost, I asked her why she never asked for my name and number. She grudgingly did. The case was subsequently resolved amicably after a Marcom lady Cassandra called to say she has checked with Singpost, and all delivery will be done by 22 Nov. Told her she has better customer service skill than her customer service team.

I definitely jumped the gun. Last night, in the mailbox, was the very inviting red-coloured, Christmas-themed Ikea catalogue.





Post Date: 17 Nov 2006

Mazda CX-7

Sent Elliot for servicing this morning and walked past the showroom.

Got attracted to the CX-7, so I walked in. It is a real beauty.


A 2.3l with direct injection engine, 9-speaker Bose sound system, keyless entry, electric sunroof, and many, many more features.


I am only $100,000 away from owning this baby.



Post Date: 17 Nov 2006

Not very happy

An ex-boss together with an ex-colleague coincidentally brought their customers to our place just now. After the customers left, we had coffee together.

The first comment thrown my way when we were just about to sit down was: "Wah, ler see bare pui leh! So much fatter compared to last time!"

Basket. Yes, I know I've not as skinny as before, yes, I know both of you are vain gym fanatics. Not that I'm angry with them, cos that's the frankness of our conversations over the years. It's just that ... the truth hurts. I'm also angry with myself for being such a King of Procrastination. It's my own body, for crying out loud!! Next 2 months' RT should correct all this.

Our friend was driving the Lexus RX300, albeit the older model. This reminded me all over again how different I was from them (and some others back from where we came from). Definitely flashy, they lust after the good life, believe in club memberships, chase branded goods and are regulars at night spots. Not that they can't - they can well afford all these.

By comparison, the regular Joe on this side of the fence hadn't had life that well, regretfully. While considerably more subdued than them, let's face it - I also cannot afford their lifestyle lah.

But herein lies the crux: I want to have the choice NOT to lead their lifestyle even though I can, and not that I cannot afford to lead their lifestyle!

Sigh. Maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself.



Post date: 15 Nov 2006

Blink blink

Wifey and I were at a particular outlet of a jewellery chain last evening as they were having 50% off. Wifey went through a few items, and some she really liked.

I have always wanted to buy her a second solitaire diamond ring after the 求婚戒指 from years ago. This second one should be 1-carat, although she has protested it will be too big.

I checked out the prices - the 0.5-carat ones were already in excess of $5000. That would mean the 1-carat ones would be more than $10k??

Gulp. 老婆, it is still my wish to get you one, and I know I will get you one. I just don't know when!




Post Date: 13 Nov 2006

3D2N Holiday Chalet ... Not

It was another weekend spent in Jurong, from Fri night / Sat morning till Sun evening. This Hougang Case seems to be trickier than initially thought.

I sincerely hope whatever Wifey and I are doing now, we are paying it forward.

It was also this weekend that we learnt of another team member displaying signs of weakness - greed. How come people over the generations always 追逐名和利 leh? I'm not going to say I'm a saint and proclaim I'm indifferent - I still am looking for the proverbial pot of gold. But why should it matter SO MUCH to them??

1. Is this the norm?
2. Am I just abnormal?
3. Does this qualify as "fighting for what you think you deserve"?
4. Why am I so averse to the concept of 毛遂自荐? Maybe I'm in this current predicament because I never self-advertise enough?
5. Is the concept of 默默的耕耘 dated?
6. Or ... am I just not as hungry as them?

The truly dangerous thing about desiring fame, fortune or wealth is the perceived associated power and the always-not-enough syndrome.

At the same discussion, I also heard that this person might be thinking of overtaking me. While I am (well at least I think I should be) flattered, my response is: go ahead and be my guest.



Post Date: 13 Nov 2006

Which is your choice?

Our involvement in Hougang Case started on Saturday at 4plus in the morning. Aside from that one trip home for fresh clothes, we stayed until last night, at 10plus. We almost had to leave at 2am this morning (we were initially told 1am).

Which got me thinking:

1. Would you sacrifice today for tomorrow's good?
2. How many people believe that they actually would be there to reap the good tomorrow?
3. What are people's views on the intangible good versus the visible bad?
4. How much is too much? How far is too far?
5. How easy is it for people to keep ploughing without the signs, indications or motivations that the good is coming?

And finally,

6. How far is tomorrow?

Post date: 6 Nov 2006

Serangoon Case II / Hougang Case I

It. Is. Finally. Over.

We completed it this morning. Very, very tired. At least the work is done.

Thinking we can finally properly rest, our happiness was shortlived. We have just been informed another case is coming up.

Sigh. I really, really would like to know how much we have to put in this time.

Post Date: 6 Nov 2006

"Get out of my elitist uncaring face!"

Some ill-bred smart alecky you-know-what-JC kid who thinks the world of herself has incured the wrath of netizens and subsequently that of society. She who wears the elitist tag so ostensibly around her neck is but another product of our "give the best to the best" system.

Uncaring, unsympathetic and definitely elitist, her remarks show disregard for the real trappings of the other parts of society, or even the realities facing the common man. Mind you, her generation will be running our country in 20 years' time.

This just serves to further entrench my disrespect for people of that 'level'. I honestly don't think all they've done are 101% for the common good. I have reached the point where I'll just flip the damn page if there was a newspaper article about some elites saying something that they claim is good for us.

Call me a loser, a whiner, whatever. But limpeh is damn pissed.

Trisha wrote a very insightful piece on this fiasco, and I reproduce it here with her permission.

There is no glory in being an elite. No honour in trumpeting one’s own success. For if not by a fortunate roll of the dice of life, any of us could end up like Mr Y or Mdm C. Any of us could be born into a family visited by sorrow upon sorrow, where circumstances work against you and fate tosses you around like sand, so that you can’t get out of the shit even if you want to. So for those of us in which life has been unbelievably kind to us, a good measure of gratitude and humility is called for. Survival of the fittest is the rule for the animal kingdom. Surely we are above the beasts? Surely we are meant to rise up higher? Instead of dashing to be the first, perhaps it is far nobler to slow down, and give a hand to the downtrodden, the unfortunate, the unskilled, the retrenched, the slower, the old, the sickly and the poor. When we can restore even a modicum of dignity to our fellow beings who have no hope, surely that makes us more human.

Post date: 6 Nov 2006

The Waverley Blog welcomes its first public visitor ...

... Janise!

This blog is meant as an online diary, so its really personal, and you don't really want people prying into your private life. But I've been following Janise's blog (rather kapo-ly), so I think some reciprocation is in order.

Just a quick word, Janise dear. I tend to post- and pre-date my entries, making them as chronologically accurate as possible. Do bear with the quirks of this diary owner.

Goodness, I've been wanting to keep this blog under the radar for so long, and now I'm (sort of) making it public ... it's almost like Ting finally deciding to post pics of her face.

Sony DSLR-A100/B

Wah lau eh, can't wait to lay my hands on this mean-looking entry-level DSLR. While this is Sony's first foray into the DSLR market, I have faith in them, and have read good reviews of this model.

All I need now is $2100 to buy the body plus 2 lenses.

Post date: 6 Nov 2006

Sailor Moon!

I used to watch it every week. Religiously.

Innovationation

Attended this infocomm exhibition at Expo put up by IDA.

Must say it was quite well done, with interesting facts and figures, as well as a showcase of what our future might hold.

Brought me back to 9 years ago, when I made the decision to join either the telco or the transportation industry. While it was all excitement and greenfields then, I do admit I'm now a bit jaded. It has become a job, and that hardly gets my heart racing. Luckily, my appreciation of telco things puts me in good stead to understand gadgets, which I still enjoy checking out.

Found this interesting panel that says the average Singaporean sends about 200 SMSes a month. Well, my highest record is 700 SMSes a month. Now I average 400.

Post date: 6 Nov 2006

Channel 8 - An Enchanted Life

First episode last night, with the show touted as Yvonne Lim's breakout performance.


Was watching it when I realised her image seemed rather familiar. And then I remembered:


To help with the comparison:


To the image consultant: you really should get a life and stop going to her blog.

To Yvonne: NOOOOOOOOOO ...... !!!

Moody

I'm in one of my moods again. I feel very down.

I used to get hit a lot more often at the hell hole, so I guess this is an improvement.

Maybe with all the little sleep, limited results at work and still no news of the little baby, all these are the ingredients for an emotional me? Not to mention the inability (or an iota of possibility) to improve the status quo for my parents or Wifey ... just gets me down.

On my way back to the office after a medical appointment, I detoured and stopped at Shuang Lin Monastery. I want to know what I can do to improve the lot, what I have done wrong, or what I haven't done right.

I still don't have the answers.

Welcome Back!

Wow, it's been more than a year since they last visited!

Met up with them just now at the hotel, and realised I missed them. They encapsulate the good times Wifey and I had in Australia.

After a dinner at Riverside Point, we couldn't stay very long to chit chat, because of Serangoon Case.

Anyhow, next dinner on Friday!

Genting - Cool Weather + Smell = TMD

KNN. Just now PSI was 150, the highest in 9 years!

Taken on Thu, 5 Oct 2006.

Taken on Fri, 6 Oct 2006.

Object of Desire

This has caught my eye, but I'll wait for the price to drop further.

















It's now $768 without line. 3.2M camera with Carl Zeiss lens! My first digital camera, a Sony 3.2M without Carl Zeiss lens already set me back $1000!

TMD.

Big Case III / Serangoon Case I

Big Case has finally concluded last night. It was slated for 12 days, but it went on for a month. After all the hard work, all's well that ends well.

But ...

There is now a new case. I shall call it ... Serangoon Case. The work should be similar, and the cast will be 原班人马. Action starts tonight. Because we have a wedding to attend, our involvement starts tomorrow.

More late nights ...

My 100th Post!

Fwah! Didn't expect I'll hit 100 posts. Expected myself to be lazy. But since this is supposed to be my diary, I've tried to be as conscientous as possible.

Actually, 100 posts from July last year until now, 15 months, averaging 7 posts a month, isn't something to shout about lah.

Let's see how long it takes for the next 100 posts!

Communication

In recent weeks, we heard of conflicts between daughter and parents, as well as boss and subordinates. Each side insists on his/her opinion, and no one seems to want to give way.

I attribute all these to a lack/failure of communication. Don't wait until beh tahan already then explode everything out. Problems, like food, are easier to handle if they are in bite-sizes. Any unhappiness or uneasiness, no matter how small, should be brought out and discussed. No only does it nib the problem when it is smaller, it also builds the relationship with trust and mutual respect.

Such problems can happen to couples just as easily. My policy with Wifey is also the same: not happy, say out. Don't bottle. We have enjoyed great communications over the years, and I don't want that to change.

Wong Fu Productions

Came across this video clip at XLX's blog.

Damn funny. Went to their site at http://www.wongfuproductions.com, and found more gems!

Anyway, enjoy the show : )

How Come Leh?

Why is it that I can talk with ease to hawkers, cleaners, guards, students, salespeople, cashiers and the likes, but fumble when faced with CEOs, MDs, ministers or even angmohs?

Actually I know the answer: it is mindset.

For fear of saying the wrong things, for looking like an idiot, for sounding less intelligent than I really am. I kick in a different mode, and the outcome is exactly that: say wrong things, look like an idiot, and sounding less intelligent.

I have to start learning that they are humans too. As someone told me recently: Make that conscious decision to.

Say wrong things, look like idiot and looking less intelligent all equate to failing. It got me thinking: how come I'm so averse to failing leh? Sometimes, for fear of failing, I don't even want to do/start/say something.

Time to get out from under the rock and start living ...

Parental Love

Those past 2 weeks were terrible, but it taught an important lesson. If you were to dwell deep into the source of the case, one would realise that the underlying message is: PARENTAL LOVE.

Parents would do almost anything for their children, some even offering their own lives. I also recall the many sacrifices that my parents have made for me.

Yet, I am painfully ashamed of the little that I've done for them thus far. Can't afford to take them on tours (they have to pay for it themselves), hardly buy them things, even the car I'm driving. Priority should be given to Dad, but I end up hogging it most of the time.

So what has their poor son been doing? Keeping my weekly dinner dates, updating them about my daily life, and taking a genuine interest in their well-being. I know it's barely scratching the surface, but that's what I (and they) can only contend with now.

My dream is to one day, create 2 tertiary scholarships in their name. For Dad, a scholarship in languages, and for Mum, one in humanities.
They had (and still have) so much love to give. To them, I'll be forever their little boy. Oh, how I love the both of you so much! So many times, I want to hug the both of you and say thank you, but our Asian conservatism forbids me from doing so. Shit, I hate it when I get emo ... please excuse me as I grab a tissue ...

*compose compose*

On this very symbolic occasion, Pa, Ma, I would like to wish the both of you:

A VERY HAPPY 35th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!

Big Case Part II

Saturday night was supposed to be the last chance, but got called on Sunday night to report in.

This can't go on. It has passed my threshold. Anything that needs me to give up sleep, family time and is affecting my work is too big a compromise. If this case doesn't close soon, I don't want to be sleeping for 2 hours every night for the rest of my life.

Thankfully I've been allowed a daily (nightly?) early release.

What Will You Do ...

... if, in the span of 3 days, your boss tells you:

A) you are not shrewd and nasty enough, and

B) he hopes he doesn't reach the stage of him using a stick

A) came about because he thinks you were too nice to an agent. He expects you to change, ie. become nastier. Why? Because that is a pre-requisite to be in the business world!

If I have to change this aspect of my character because of my environment, then I'll rather change my environment.

B) came about because he thinks you are too soft, and have been bullied by the customer. This part I can agree. I need to be more assertive and must learn to put my foot down.

All said and done, my boss is a nice guy. This mild outbursting from him might have been a while in the making, meaning he's been holding it within until now.

Big Case Part I

Last night marked the start of the Big Case.

I don't know how long it would last. And I don't know how much daily sleep I'll get. If the 2 hours I got this morning is any indication, I think we are in for something whose scale I cannot comprehend.

And obviously, this post is pre-dated.

Bye, Mate

I've not seen anyone so enthusiastic and dramatic before. He actually got me interested in crocodiles.

I've always thought that if any mishaps were to happen, a crocodile would be involved. I was wrong. It was a stingray instead.

May you rest in peace, mate.

Lest We Forget

Accompanied Wifey sometime back to the newly-refurbished People's Park Complex. Yes, the place seems brighter and newer, but some flavour seems to have been lost.

Anyhow, as she was window-shopping, I went wandering around. On one of the floors, I made a turn and found myself back in the nostalgia that is Chinatown. I didn't realise that this part of the building wasn't upgraded. The shops were still using iron grilles, the signboards were old, and the floor tiles were still the small squarish type. I smiled to myself, having found the flavour back.

As I walked further, I came to the end of the building, and from across where I was, was the Chin Swee estate. This place brings back memories, as I recall my dad bringing me here to a 铁打 for my sprained ankle. The shop was no longer there, but the quaint red-green 亭子 was.

I walked downstairs, crossed the road, and did some walking-around. The birds were chirping, old people chatting, children playing, the whole experience was so surreal. And I enjoyed myself, lapping up all the rusticity. To add to the high, in front of Sheng Siong, I saw a bunch of old folks watching two chess players having a go at the game.





I am such a sentimentalist. I was both happy to find this gem of a place, but at the same time, worried for its existence. In our relentless pursuit of development, the evil claws of upgrading will, in a few years' time, degenerate this place into nothing more than memories.

When that day happens, at least with this post, the image can be preserved for posterity, and I can say that 我曾经到此一游.

Happy Anniversary, My Princess

How time flies! It seem like only yesterday that we had a good meal at Suntec.

I admit this year has been a bit mild, what with our friend's pregnancy and my pathetic financial condition. Think we didn't even have an official celebration, other than that visit to Ikea.

Despite this, my responsibility towards you hasn't changed, which is to provide for you and to love you. In tough times like this, I feel it in my blood even more, that I can't let you down.

And I won't.

On this special day, I want to dedicate a special song to you, one that I like a lot. Despite it being 10 years old, the lyrics are valid for eternity.

今生注定

高:现在你心里想什么
王:现在你心里想什么
能不能就写在眼眸
告诉我
在这沈默的片刻
让我们用心灵交流

如果爱情烦恼真的太多
或许心事都交给我
合:为你耽忧
对我来说也是快乐

合:不管有多少真心多少爱被错过
有了你我已经别无所求
用半生紧紧相守换取承诺
什么话都不必再说
喔......

总以为曾经付出曾被爱伤害过
这世上只有我对爱执着
直到我慢慢感受你的温柔
才了解
今生注定与你相守

Song at http://www.may-8th.com/zhuding.mp3

Matter of Opinion

Spotted at a commercial building in Jurong yesterday.

Yes, yes. I'll be hugging it to sleep every night.

Matters of the Heart

Poor SJ.

Think she has encountered one baddie too many. These bloody assholes are giving us 30-somethings a bad name!

But I guess it's all part of growing up. At different stages of our lives, we are faced with different obstacles. The challenge is to rise above all and to live to tell.

To help alleviate some pain, I phone-ordered a box of Godiva for her. The guy on the other line damn funny. My message to accompany the gift was: To My Sista: Cheer Up! He called me to ask if should be spelt as 'Sister' instead. Hello??!! A bit lame that it's a gift for her and yet she has to pick it up, but well ...

On a related note, FF had an entry on this and I left a comment. Thereafter SJ also left a comment, followed by FF's. Fancy seeing myself next to the 2 ladies whose blogs I regularly read!

Singapore Fireworks 2006

Update 12 Sep 2006:

Went to see fireworks again, this time near Esplanade. The whole experience can be summed up in 4 words:

LIM PEH KUA BO!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were eating at East Coast when we decided that we will risk the crowd and see the fireworks.

There were many possible places to go, but I chose Marina South. The parking was so packed! Being the smart aleck that I am, and with 2 minutes more to go, I parked on the pedestrian pavement.

Shortly after, the fireworks started. I must say the place we stood wasn't too bad. Other than the low level fireworks that were blocked by the trees, the rest were ok.





While taking photos of the fireworks with my mobile phone, I noticed that many people were doing likewise. I took a shot of them, but the photo turned out crappy. Whatever.

When the show finished, Wifey and I almost ran back to the car, hoping to avoid the crowd. To our bewilderment, a Malaysian car had parked at the exact place where the pavement slopes down to join with the road. There was a car that parked behind me, and both of us were effectively locked-in. For the next 20 minutes, we waited and waited, with passing cars watching us. Felt like a bloody circus act. They must be thinking: Ge kiang lah, ge kiang lah!

I tried to look for other "launch sites", but to no avail. Finally, the car behind ours decided to do a 3-point turn, and head back the other way. We followed suit, finally relieved of our confines, only to be confronted with another 15 min of jam.

Grrrr!

Matter of Opinion

New product? Spotted in a supermarket in Geylang East.

Last I checked, the Merriam-Webster online dictionary has no record of this word ...

What To Do ...

I have been advocating cutting wastage in the office. For example, why print on one side when you can print of two? Why print only one page on each side when you can print 2? I even suggested to my boss that he should follow suit.

This morning I was mildly pleased when I saw my colleague adopting my suggestion of 2 sided - 2 page on one side suggestion. Needing the same printout for an internal discussion, I went about setting the printer to print a proposal on both sides when I forgot to set 2 pages per side. Imagine my aghast when 8 pages came out, instead of 4, when the 16-page document was printed. What if my boss saw my wasteful printout?

So what did I do?

Stealthly shred the 8 pages, and re-print 4.

Talk about cutting wastage.

Loser ... or Lost?

Went for a birthday party yesterday. It must rank up there as one of my longest 1 hour. To be fair, the family organising it are really nice people, friendly and easy to get along.

But everytime I'm with them, I can't help but be overpowered by their "whiff of wealth". They come from well-to-do families, and it shows. Everything about them is branded. Subconsciously I become reserved and ... boring.

I know the devil is in my head: branded stuff ≠ putting other people down, but ... but ...

Even the friends they invited share that smell. Not to mention the few Beemers I spotted at the visitors carpark - surely they belong to some of these friends?

I'm already not very good at parties. On top of that, I feel so inadequate among these people. I've once told someone I reek of "middle class", but I can't seem to pull myself out of this vicious circle, let alone rise to the occasion and qualify myself to be in THE league. The current financial difficulties just further compound the problem.

So am I a lose, or am I just lost?

IT salaries to go up in China, S'pore - ZDNet Asia

When I read this, I wanted to laugh. How come I'm always not in the loop of these things?

IT salaries to go up in China, S'pore - Business - News - ZDNet Asia

Matter of Opinion

Spotted at ROM last week.

Okaaaay... so where's the registry for a rowdy marriage?

Zizou, was this how you wanted to go?

Was on YouTube and saw the number of videos making fun of the head-butting incident. I feel sad for him.

People say Zizou is hot-headed and has a terrible temper. I don't think so. The way he plays, the way he reads the game, and the fact that he was the captain of the national squad speaks volumes of his character. Add to that his shyness, modesty, humble beginnings and what he has achieved.

At the same time, the guy is protective over his family. Maybe over-protective. A little word about them and he loses his head.

Is it wrong to want to protect your family? Is it wrong to get agitated if your family is insulted or you are provoked? Isn't his reaction a further testament to this guy's greatness?

**~UPDATE: 13.07.06~**

As I was writing this piece yesterday, Zidane was issuing an apology, as well as giving his side of the story here.FIFA, get off your bloody moral high ground and let him keep his Golden Ball Award!!

Final - Italy 1:1; 5:3 PSO France

When France scored the first goal, I was mildly excited. Among my friends, I was the only one supporting France.

And then Italy equalised, and the score stayed 1:1 till full-time. Into the bin went the 2 slips.

Then Zizou lost his head and crashed it into the chest of Materazzi, an ex-Everton player. And France lost.

Zizou, why like that? You are my inspiration leh, my 偶像 you know. You and I are of the same age (I'm a month older than you, actually), but look what you have achieved. I so want to be like you - making it to the pinnacle of your career yet still have time and so protective over your family.

Anyway, this has not been a financially fruitful World Cup. Actually, this is the first time I'm betting so actively.

Total Investment: $55
Net Earnings: $3.10

Yes, will be keeping my day job.

3rd, 4th Placing - Germany 3 : 1 Portugal

The tickets were bought in Jurong.

Germany, playing at home, should have the upper hand. Also felt that this will not be a 1 goal game. Bought 3 goals (Total Goals).

Finally, my first earnings from this World Cup! But the odds of $1.62 was really pittance.

Was on the way to winning both tickets, when at the 88th minute, Portugal scored their solitary goal. Oooiiii! Who asked you to score, Nuno Gomes?? Could have made $20 more!

Total investment to date: $45
Net earnings: $3.10 ($8.10 payout - $5 bet)

Tibet

On 1 Jul 2006, the 青藏铁路 was opened to much fanfare. At 5072m at its highest point, it is the world's highest railway.

Having been to Tibet myself, I have seen how simple the Tibetans live. Their absolute nonchalance towards materialism astounds me. Deeply religious, they donate huge amounts of money/precious stones to temples, leaving just enough for themselves. Their "just enough" seems to be just above the poverty line to me.

I have also seen the infusion of (for lack of a better word) capitalistic trademarks, like karaoke and massage joints, bars, billiard halls, etc. In the name of modernising, I think diluting is also taking place. Despite having stayed in Tibet for 3 years, our tour guide seemed just as dismissive of the Tibetans. In his mind, they are of a different breed, of a lower grade. I think I offended him when I replied "你似乎以有色眼镜在看待他们". My point was, let's not use our own yardstick to judge them. Who is to say which is more superior? They have lived this way for hundreds and thousands of years, and they have achieved equilibrium in their mental state, their spiritual state as well as in their society. SOMEONE ELSE is upsetting this equilibrium.

I may not have visited many countries, but I dare say Tibet has one of the richest cultures. It is an enigma which will take many, many years to unravel and understand. Only if you bother to try to understand. And not through white-washing or cultural bulldozers. I urge everyone to visit Tibet as soon as you can.

Politics 1 : 0 Cultural Preservation





(Graphic from: http://www.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/ChinaLinks-New/Images/121-potala-side.jpg)

To Be Different

So many things have happened. To break away and be different from the Old Me:

• I carry 2 pens instead of 1
• I re-started wearing cologne
• I wear a tie everyday
• I use a headset instead of earphones
• I use the other donation box in the temple

The changes may appear skin-deep, but I believe they will have far-reaching effects.

Semi-Finals - Portugal 0 : 1 France

Yesterday I had a feeling that this quarter final will be a 1-goal match, except that I wasn't sure who will be the winner.

Decided to bet on Portugal becos they played relatively well thus far and France's ah peks should be tired by now (sorry, Zizou!).

So, bought Portugal win (1 x 2) and Portugal win 1-0 (Pick the Score).
For buffer, I also bought Draw-Draw (Half/Full Time Double).

And then what happened? France won 1-0. Why didn't I just bet on Goals (1 goal)??

Total loss to date: $35

KNN. I've yet to win anything at this World Cup!!! Nabeh, better don't quit my day job, sia.

Semi-Finals - Germany 0 : 2 (a.e.t.) Italy

Wah lau, how come sturdy Germany can lose to stylo Italy? What ever happened to home ground advantage?

But actually, the Italians did play with more flair. The Germans see got ball, just anyhow whack towards the goal, even if there was an Italian right IN FRONT of him. Duh.

This ticket was also bought on 12 Jun. So,

Total Loss to date: $20

水来伸手，饭来张口

BM wrote an interesting piece about Singaporeans complaining about EVERYTHING, and always asking for help. Most of time, even if they don't need it.

It made me reflect on myself. Given my current situation, I know I've been guilty of grudging rants. But I've also been careful not to sound desperate or despondent, or critically needing people's 施舍. This applies even to Wifey. I got myself into this mess, I had better be the one to get myself out. Having said that, I don't know how much longer it will be before I get out of this rut.

I NEED TO CLOSE SOME DEALS! I NEED MY COMMISSION! I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK!


How come some sites say it's 衣来伸手,饭来张口? Are both correct?



(Graphic from http://www.netsoc.tcd.ie/~villiros/pics/help.gif)

Launch of Space Shuttle Discovery

This is one of the reasons why I was so fascinated with astronomy.

So awe-inspiring. It really is a great leap for mankind and our dreams.

Quarter-Finals - Brazil 0 : 1 France

To me, the biggest upset of the tournament. Think the Brazilians were too complacent, and the team didn't gel.

This ticket was bought on 12 Jun. Can kiss it bye bye liao.

Together with the other England vs T&T ticket:

Total Loss to date: $15

Resolutions for 2006: Half-time Review

One of the reasons why I seem to be a headless chicken, I guess, is because I lack GOALS to work toward. That's why I itchy backside and made a few new year resolutions.

This is the half-way mark, and time for a review!

1. Avoid the poverty trap and spend within my means

- half-achieved. Have been spending within my means becos I am in the poverty trap!

2. Save $5000 by the end of the year

- this will be the new mother of all resolutions

3. Lose weight - let's start with 5kg

- last I weighed myself, I've lost 5... 00 grams. And that might have been becos I was sick for a week.

4. Exercise more, at least once a week

- I am very close to achieving this one ... very close ...

5. Be more diligent with the house work (this will be the mother of all resolutions)

- this has been relegated to the stepmother of all resolutions

Not all is lost, not all is lost ... yet.

Sick Chicken

Now very 辛苦.

Since coming back from M'sia,haven't been resting enough. Having to wake up at 6am also doesn't help. The flu has been supressing itself, until yesterday, when it decided to explode.

Since this morning, has been self-medicating. Fever was 39 degrees, then went down, then up again.

Finally went to see doc just now, and fever was 38 degrees. And $48 poorer.

Got 1 day MC. Got to call the camp tomorrow to tell them.

Reader's Digest Courtesy Survey

RD's survey says Singaporeans are not courteous at all, ranking 30 out of 35.

Wah, why am I not surprised sia ...

Why need RD to tell us? I already told you here!

Lee-zer-bit

Finally, after many, many years out in the wilderness, I have finally gone back to serve my country.

I haven't been the best reservist (or NSman) around, never bothering to update my particulars. I have also been missing IPPTs.

I got so excited that I had problems sleeping last night. Hope this doesn't aversely affect my health.

Donning my camouflage uniform and entering a camp brought back all the euphoria I used to feel. We are the protector of the land leh!

Glad to also see the profile of my course mates are similar to mine - first incamp after 10 odd years. I feel at home liao.

Matter of Opinion

Spotted this at the airport.

Wouldn't "Legacy" be a better choice?

Genting Ranting

The last time we went to Genting was eons ago. This time around, the experience was different, as the whole bus(!) are our own group. Also, it will be 6(!) to a room. When I heard, I was like " How do you bloody squeeze 6 people into a hotel room?"

Somehow it worked out, as there were shifts. One group will be at the casino while the other slept, and vice versa.

Apart from the older rides, the outdoor theme park also had a few new rides. We tried them all. Then there's this whole new place called New World Hotel. The hotel is nothing to rave about, but the shopping / F&B area is sipeh steady! Had most of our meals there.

Wifey and I blew about RM200 at the casino. It's a third of our bloody budget!

England vs Trinidad & Tobago

TMD. I put $5 on Away-Home (HT-FT), and the odds were $22! That means I could have won $110!

But disappointing T&T didn't manage to score before half-time (or for the rest of the match), and there goes my money ...

Touched ... by Him

Today was supposed to be another peaceful day, until ...

... my boss declared that he committed to give a customer a quote today, and he had to leave for Malaysia in an hour's time. Wah, thanks ah ...

My colleague and I rushed, he calling the supplier and me counter-checking with the customer on his requirements.

Knowing that we're going to work late, I sian half liao. I was supposed to get a cake for Father's Day tonight, since all the 3 kids will not be there to celebrate with Dad. But now like that ... It's another case of family vs work.

The quote was finally sent at 9.40pm. The first thought was to get the cake in Bedok, since there are more shops there. But by the time I reached, I guess they'd have all closed by then. As I was driving along, Ubi Central was in front, and I gratefully turned in. However, the further I walked, the more disappointed I became. Most of the shops were closed.

Can't a person have both family AND career? Why must it always be a compromise? I kept replaying this thought in my head. The more I thought, the harder I prayed, asking the Buddha to help me. I want to be a good worker, and I also want to be a good son.

At some point, I decided to head back to the car. I've almost given up. "I'll buy it tomorrow then", I told to myself. Just then, right in front of me, was the shop with the signboard "X X Confectionery". At that moment, I knew He heard me, and it was His guidance that brought me along the path to the shop. I wanted to cry, and I think I did tear a bit. Given the difficult time that I'm going through, I thought He has taken a backseat, but no, He is still there for me. I bought the cake gratefully, and left.

I am still thankful and touched. I'm so happy the relationship is back.

Thank you, Lord Buddha, for hearing my prayers and being there for me.

Meadow of Quivering Aspens

The name Waverley has such a nice fuzzy feeling to it, in large parts due to the sentimental link.

So when comments I left are responded with "Thanks ger" and "Smart girl", I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It's usually followed by a sheepish "Er, I is guy".

See, it says here it is also a boy's name what! Quivering aspens, ok?!

Some silly websites say it means "to wave". Duh, does that mean Washington is "to wash"?

White Supremacy

Once again, white is good, yellow / dark is bad.

Why is it so difficult to shake off the "white is GOOOOOD in everything" mentality?

Don't we have talents locally? Are yoy saying that we don't have enough qualified people? If yes, then shouldn't the question be: how come we don't have enough qualified people leh?

Sick and tired of these knee-jerk effect, and the inability to plan for the future.

It's Back!!!!!

It's back after 4 years!

I'm putting my money on Brazil ($10) and Germany ($5).

Woohoo!

Saying Thank You

I don't understand why some people find it so hard to say thank you.

I say it all the time: to the karang guni man that buys my newspapers, to the hawker that just gave me back my change, to the Pizza Hut phone operator that just took my order. Heck, I even raise my hand to thank the driver that lets my car pass first.

I mean, it doesn't cost me anything, and nobody would be offended by it. If people expects it, then I'll just give it to them! It's not hypocritical; it's just being polite.

Why can't everybody practise it so that this word can be a nicer place?

Much Has Happened ...

I'm back. Looking at my own blog, my last entry was 20 Feb. That was over 3 months ago. Many things have happened.

Feb 28: my last day at the god-forsaken place

Mar 1 - 31: a well-deserved but financially irrational break

Apr 3: the start of a new life

As for now:

Health

• knee still hurts, although not as much
• temporarily dumped Commonwealth for Jurong
• stomach still flatulent, although not as much

Baby

• still no sign of the little fella

Work

• much smaller company
• next to no politics
• but basic salary cannot sustain me
• wondering when the sales and corresponding commission will come
• but overall still happier

Finances

• extremely bad shape
• bank account was already so minute
• now every month still must top up because of deficit

Mood

• while glad that I'm out of the hell hole, but still moody, or maybe even worse
• seems like the last episode(s) have caused such a major dent in my life/progress/confidence/self-worth
• stakes are so high that I'm so afraid to fail again
• so afraid that if I fail again, I will never have the mental strength to get up
• have become resentful, but keep reminding myself not to be
• very touched that I have friends around me who take a serious interest in my well-being
• besides Wifey, Elliot is the other one who has witnessed my deep-thinking/sorrow/my feeble perk-me-ups

Lessons

• financial awareness - now I can account right down to the last cent
• politics is a way of life
• learning to forgive is a near-impossibility
• there are friends that care
• then there are friends that you think are close, yet you hesitate in telling them your financial difficulties
• mental strength is like latent heat - you can't see it, but it's what makes the difference

I WILL SURVIVE, AND WILL LIVE TO TELL!

Zo Swee Swee Lunch

The past few weeks zipped past so quickly. All I remember is reaching office around 9.15am, emails, lunch, emails, leave at 6.30pm. Many people have been to the office to say bye. Appreciate their well-wishes. I have also intentionally not switched on the room lights so that it is dark and ... moody.

Anyway, have asked for a slot to have lunch with him. I don't know why I wanted it. People may accuse me of hypocrisy, but to me, wrapping this whole episode is more important, even though I never will like or respect him.

The original lunch slot this Friday has been taken up. It has been rescheduled to ... today! I was like, WTF?? This type of thing also need to be mentally prepared one, you know! What are we to talk about about? Are there any answers I want from him? In between these thoughts, I asked the secretary if she could help me with something. "Can you casually mention to him that these few weeks, you see me like damn dejected and depressed"? I wanted to use it as a topic for lunch. Even though she agreed, she didn't manage to speak with him, and we were off to lunch already. And I drove.

The lunch was definitely awkward. I thought he was going to bring up the "you should have done this, shouldn't have done that" shit, but credit to him, he didn't. We spoke about the very safe and generic topic of ... the Management. Of course, since it was a conversation, I have to sneak in the occasional "is it", "really", not to mention the shaking / nodding of my head and the well-time laughs.

He paid for lunch. From my point of view, the whole session was cordial. But it did NOTHING to ease the pain that he caused me, nor did it make me want to respect him.

I Finally Did It

Been debating with myself on whether to do it last Friday or today. Eventually, compassion won, so that he can have a good CNY. Imagine, compassion towards him!! Sometimes I amaze myself.

Took me a long time to fall asleep last night. Got up early today to go to work. While I have gone through the sequence of events many times over in my head, my heart was still beating very quickly when I typed the letter, sprinted to the printer to retrieve the print-out and to sign it.

Today, I tendered my resignation.

My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't breathe when I knocked on his door.

"I would like to tender my resignation".

He looked away from his notebook at the white envelope on his desk, and without missing a beat, went back to typing, and asked "Why?"

I wanted to slap him there and then for asking the freaking obvious. "I don't think I can contribute anymore", I managed.

He stopped what he was doing, and let loose his thoughts over these past few days of CNY holidays. The bottom line I gathered, was that he figured out work wasn't everything, and that he has been neglecting his family. He was philosophical about his current situation - not doing well, but too proud to quit. He also mentioned that something big will happen to the division - he has been asked to close it down. Most of the people will be transferred, although some will be asked to leave. He sneaked in some comments that told me he didn't get much instructions from his boss on how it was to be done, and he was resentful about it. He didn't counter-offer. I learnt later that he had wanted me to continue to report to him in the new entity.

Finally, after so many months, I see his human side re-surfacing. Having said that, while I can forgive, I will never forget.

The rest of the day was a blur. I did tell one or two persons, and word got around.

So many thoughts have been crossing my mind since I decided to tender. What will people think of you? A quitter? What will potential employers think about your job-hopping ways? How are you to face your friends? What will your ex-colleagues think? Do you think you can find a suitable job? I have no answers for these questions. All I know is I need a month's break. The questions can wait.

You Know Your Time Is Up When ... (Part II)

• you are talking to a director, when he barges into the room to ask the director "Can we start now? I'm done". Hello??!! Did you even have the decency to ask if we are done?
  
  
• you spent one hour playing blackjack with your colleagues in the conference room
  
  
• your colleague that sits on another floor exclaims to you "Wah, you all downstairs damn dead, man. Everytime I go there, my mood sinks".
  
  
• you can't bear to call his name, so you address him as Sir
  
  
• you end up checking his calendar more than your own

Yoga

Last Thu we went for our first yoga lesson.

It was pouring and we were late. Despite that, I was adventurous enough to try a route that I've not used for years. One (only one!) wrong turn later, we reached. They were already 15 minutes into the class when we entered the studio.

The exercises were so much more manageable than the previous time!! It had its fair amount of stretching, "good for the abdomen" and "a little bit more", but was enough to tire the body thereafter. It is general fatigue, rather than sores, like after jogging. There were also more guys.

Went for the second lesson yesterday. Late again, nothing new there. For the rest of the day, was so tired. Helped out on Saturday night, had to wake up early to go yoga, yoga, then still went Sheng Siong to buy stuff. TIRED!!

We chiat Arse-senile 1 - 0!

Gone are the days when the Gunners are invincible.

At the same time, we are enjoying great form. This is our fourth consecutive league win.

Keep up the good work, Moyesy!

Looking Back

I am now alone in the office. The rest have gone back. They have cut the air-con.

I'm not exactly working. Am just surfing the Web.

I have Emil Chou's 心的方向 playing off my notebook.

The first time I heard this song was many years ago, while a student. This song was especially meaningful to a teenager, on the threshold of adulthood, and believing that I'm capable of bigger things other than studies. It was about dreams, ambitions, zest and life in general.

You can almost say I was at the crest of self-belief.

Fast forward to 2006. I have become lethargic, slightly jaded, cynical and suspicious. All I can think of is why is my boss treating me like this, and going home to my wife.

Occasionally, the spark in me does surface, and I believe great things are waiting for me to be achieved. I know I'm capable of achieving them, but yet ...

I think I have 心结. I know I need to be rid of it, but I don't know what is it, or how.

Now, listening to this song again, and comparing then and now, I feel like tearing. Hell, I am tearing!

The Rain Has Stopped : (

Living in the tropics, I've always loved the rain, despite the inconvenience. Love the cool weather and the breeze. Somehow, the rain makes me ... pensive. So imagine my delight when the skies opened up for the past few days.

But this morning, the sun came out, and it's rays are beating on my back through the office window. Oooiiii ... Weather forecasts say it'll rain today. I can't wait.

~ Update 16.01.06 ~

It didn't rain that day, and has not since! WTF??!!

Fighting For Your Own Right

Sometime back XX wrote a post about her fighting for her rights. And I totally agree with her. No reason why we should be bullied for no reason. Fighting back need not be rude, but firm and assertive.

In each of our minds, we have a baseline of what is right, what is wrong, what can be accepted and what can't. Once that line is breached, the protect-myself mode kicks in. Over the years, credit card companies, restaurants, departmental stores have incurred my wrath. Hell, once I even complained about a Traffic Police customer service officer! Don't think I 小市民 can bully!

Maybe it's the smaller-sized people that are more feisty. While we can't be seen, we want to be "heard", for fear of being mistaken as wimps. Many-a-time I get asked "Why are you walking so fast?"

The reply "Bigger strides can catch up with taller people".

2006 Resolution Update I - Yoga!

Was at a colleague's place early yesterday afternoon, before heading down to town to meet Wifey. We were invited to try out at a yoga centre, trial lesson free.

Before heading there, I had to buy a pair of track pants. Nabeh, didn't know it was so hard to find and so expensive!! $100 a pair??!! Hellooo??!! Eventually settled for an el cheapo pair and headed upstairs.

The place was huge, spread over 2 floors. We changed and headed for one of the studios. I must say, initially, it was a little embarrassing, cos I was the only guy and the girls were contorting themselves to the instructions. Then a second guy came in, and I got used to having butts up my face.

The session lasted an hour, and I had all of the male shower room to myself. The sales guy tried his utmost, and finally got us to part with $300 each for 10 sessions. We will start from 16 Jan, for a period of 8 weeks.

My first step towards fulfilling my New Year resolutions!

By the way, the toilet doors in Shaw Centre are metallic and reflective. Feels weird seeing yourself take a crap ...

3 - 1

Ho say leh!!
Yia teh dee tio liao leh! Gia Charlton lai tok gah cui cui liao!

Mid-table woo hee bung liao.

Sick Chicken on New Year's Eve

While people all over the world were busy boogying, poisoning their kidneys and enjoying the fireworks, me was sick.

The tummy had been giving slight problems over the past few days, but it finally decided not to be subtle. System like kena jam, like got a lot of things inside yet can't purge enough of it. It escalated into fever.

The GP said it was gastric flu, and should recover within the next 2 days. While the toilet runs were bearable (thank you very much, Johnsons Baby Lotion!), the fever really got to me. Was writhing about on the sofa. Thankfully, I slept with the thick clothings on, and the resultant perspiration got rid of the fever.

While I actually felt a lot better around 11.40pm (technically, still the old year), I decided against the pre-arranged countdown at a friend's place.

What a way to usher in the New Year. Seems like a pre-cursor to the next 365 days ...