Looking Back

I am now alone in the office. The rest have gone back. They have cut the air-con.

I'm not exactly working. Am just surfing the Web.

I have Emil Chou's 心的方向 playing off my notebook.

The first time I heard this song was many years ago, while a student. This song was especially meaningful to a teenager, on the threshold of adulthood, and believing that I'm capable of bigger things other than studies. It was about dreams, ambitions, zest and life in general.

You can almost say I was at the crest of self-belief.

Fast forward to 2006. I have become lethargic, slightly jaded, cynical and suspicious. All I can think of is why is my boss treating me like this, and going home to my wife.

Occasionally, the spark in me does surface, and I believe great things are waiting for me to be achieved. I know I'm capable of achieving them, but yet ...

I think I have 心结. I know I need to be rid of it, but I don't know what is it, or how.

Now, listening to this song again, and comparing then and now, I feel like tearing. Hell, I am tearing!